Barry stood at the altar dressed in his Sunday best
'Sunday Best' to him was a new string vest
He wasn't getting married
But in the church he tarried
Hoping that some woman might admire his chest.
   
          *********************

How long will this warm weather last?
Or will we get another cold, icy blast

How long will this warm weather last?
Or will we get another cold, icy blast
Ne're cast a clout til may be out
Is my advice without a doubt

How long will this warm weather last?
Or will we get another cold, icy blast
Ne're cast a clout til may be out
Is my advice without a doubt 
Though summer is coming fast.

*

Ben sat with his bowl of Bran Flakes

Ben sat with his bowl of Bran Flakes
In the old folks home, along with his mates

Ben sat with his bowl of Bran Flakes
In the old folks home, along with his mates
They would bring their teeth round very soon
So they could chew the chops for lunch at noon

Ben sat with his bowl of Bran Flakes
In the old folks home, along with his mates
They would bring their teeth round very soon
So they could chew the chops for lunch at noon 
Followed later by tea and cakes.

There was a bus driver from Derry

There was a bus driver from Derry 
Who loved a young lady called Kerry

There was a bus driver from Derry
Who loved a young lady called Kerry
She knew all his routes
If he saw her he'd toot

There was a bus driver from Derry
Who loved a young lady called Kerry
She knew all his routes
If he saw her he'd toot
And then they planned to make merry!  🥳🥳

Easter was coming, so Bob bought an egg
He planned to give it to his friend,  Meg

Easter was coming, so Bob bought an egg
He planned to give it to his friend,  Meg
If he got a posh one full of lovely sweets
Maybe, possibly she'd slip between his sheets

Easter was coming, so Bob bought an egg
He planned to give it to his friend,  Meg
If he got a posh one full of lovely sweets
Maybe, possibly she'd slip between his sheets
But one from the pound shop just got a 'thanks' tweet.

           ******************

That plan didn't work, so Bob asked her out
'Come for a drink in Spoons, it's my shout'

That plan didn't work, so Bob asked her out
'Come for a drink in Spoons, it's my shout'
That didn't bring much of a smile
Andre's Restaurant would be nearer the style