The Jockeys Nostril

[Scrumpy]

Look mate just cough up the spondoolicks ok? You don't want me to send my head of security Mups around to rearrange your face do you?

Too late... She's already been round.. 
Granny is wearing a Lidl bag on her head for the next two weeks..

[Vlad]

Are we ready for Tonight's Quiz?
There will be lots of prizes
Please bring a pencil

June 22, 2024, 05:33:04 PM

Too late... She's already been round..
Granny is wearing a Lidl bag on her head for the next two weeks..

Wow, that's all the rage in Monte Carlo this year, I didn't know that Granny M was one of those fashionistas...

[Vlad]

Ok everyone here we go....



THE QUIZ
Tick....one box only, return your completed answer paper to Edna the Entertainment Coordinator


Question One on Astronomy 
The universe is ..?

• Big
• Very Big
• Ginormous

Question Two on Physics...
Muon g−2 is a particle physics experiment at Fermilab to measure the anomalous magnetic dipole moment of a muon to a precision of 0.14 ppm, how do you spell Muon?

• Mewon 
• Muhonn
•  Muon

Question Three on Mathematics... 
If a chicken and half lay an egg and half in a day and a half how many bananas can you eat in one sitting?

• 2
• 1 but only sideways 
• I don't like bananas 

Question Four on animals..
A blue whale's anus can stretch up to 3 and a half feet, making it the world's second largest arsehole next to Keir Starmer 
1 True
2 False
3 No, Lewis Hamilton is a bigger arsehole

Question Five on  Mythological Science. 
You glimpse a shimmering Unicorn through the foliage...
 and as it gets nearer you realise that?
 1.It's just a Horse with an traffic cone stuck on its head
 2. There are no such things as Unicorns
3. What's foliage?

Question Six on The Meaning of Life
If the Answer was 42 what was the Question?

• 6x7
• Who designed the Norwegian fjords.
• 47 corrected for inflation.

Thank you, that's all for tonight.
The scrutinisers will check your answers and announce the winners later tonight, due to the football  we may be a bit late in awarding the prizes 
In the event of a draw there will be a dance off similar to what John Travolta did in Pulp Fiction

And the prizes are:
The Winner will receive an all areas Platinum Pass allowing the holder 24 hour access to the VIP Pool, Health Centre, Restaurant and the Landlords Suite.

The Runner up (female only) will receive an invite to the Landlords Flat for a night of passion and lust. 
If Male a choice of crisps and pork scratchings to the value of 10/6d  with a free pint.
The last placed contestant will be mocked.
We hope you enjoyed our quiz
Edna Entertainment Coordinator 

[Scrumpy]

I think I've cocked it up.. I'm in A&E with a mouthful of bananas (long ways)..
 I got up to 12...  I forgot to take the skin off..
Thick Mick said Muon was spelt M.. E..W..O..N..  Is he right.?

[klondike]

I wrote down all the answers last night but now I can't read them.
I think it says the answer to 1 is 4 and to 7 is c but that's all I can manage.
Sorry.

Sorry to read about the mishap Scrumpy. Could happen to anybody. As it's quite a common problem A&E will sort you out in no time.

[Mups]

My apologies for my late arrival,   they've only just let me out.

I was trying to get the correct answer to Q.4.
I was standing behind Kier Starmer,  tape measure poised and waiting for him to bend over,  when he got annoyed and asked me to leave.   

I politely told him I needed to compare his butt with a Blue Whale's,  but he called Security.

Just on my way to hand the other answers in to Edna, now. 

[dextrous63]

Am I too late for the quiz?  Bit of a late night, and woke up this morning on a wooden pallet.  Not so bad really, but what made it a bit tricky was that the aforementioned wooden structure was floating down the centre of the Manchester Ship Canal near Runcorn.

[Mups]

Am I too late for the quiz?  Bit of a late night, and woke up this morning on a wooden pallet.  Not so bad really, but what made it a bit tricky was that the aforementioned wooden structure was floating down the centre of the Manchester Ship Canal near Runcorn.

Sounds like you had a good night, Dex.

Good job you had the Landlord's blow-up doll with you to keep you afloat. 

[dextrous63]

Sounds like you had a good night, Dex.

Good job you had the Landlord's blow-up doll with you to keep you afloat. 

Sadly, the doll sprung a leak and flew off, getting itself entangled in a tree near Grappenhall.  I thought that she's have been more robust, but one little prick is all it took.

[GrannyMac]

Ok everyone here we go....



THE QUIZ
Tick....one box only, return your completed answer paper to Edna the Entertainment Coordinator


Question One on Astronomy
The universe is ..?

• Big
• Very Big
• Ginormous. ✔️

Question Two on Physics...
Muon g−2 is a particle physics experiment at Fermilab to measure the anomalous magnetic dipole moment of a muon to a precision of 0.14 ppm, how do you spell Muon?

• Mewon
• Muhonn
• Muon.  ✔️

Question Three on Mathematics...
If a chicken and half lay an egg and half in a day and a half how many bananas can you eat in one sitting?

• 2
• 1 but only sideways
• I don't like bananas. ✔️

Question Four on animals..
A blue whale's anus can stretch up to 3 and a half feet, making it the world's second largest arsehole next to Keir Starmer
1 True.  ✔️
2 False
3 No, Lewis Hamilton is a bigger arsehole

Question Five on  Mythological Science.
You glimpse a shimmering Unicorn through the foliage...
 and as it gets nearer you realise that?
 1.It's just a Horse with an traffic cone stuck on its head.  ✔️
 2.
There are no such things as Unicorns
3. What's foliage?

Question Six on The Meaning of Life
If the Answer was 42 what was the Question?

• 6x7 or 2x21 ✔️
• Who designed the Norwegian fjords. 
• 47 corrected for inflation.

Copied to Ednas as instructed.

I'm the only one who followed instructions (I can't help it, I have a condition called pedantry, which makes me think I'm always right, but really I'm very, very boring) so I should win! I'll settle for a g&t and a clear tab. Yes?

[dextrous63]

Zzzzzzzzzz

[GrannyMac]

 

[Vlad]

Good evening players, thank you all for you patience but marking your results has been quite difficult involving scrutineers, arbitrators, a man in a beige cardigan and the Gaming Commission.
Therefore the decision is that there was NO  outright winner!
But because Granny Mac's answer paper was the prettiest the judges have awarded her the second prize, a night of lust passion and sausages on sticks in the Landlords Suite.
We would like to thank all the participants and remind you about out ever popular Bingo Night next week and the Ashram in the Snug at a date to be decided. ( Apparently import licences for cows from India can take some time

Luv ya

Edna, Entertainment Manager

[klondike]

Anybody know if Scrumpy is still in A&E?

[Scrumpy]

I've only just been seen .. sat in A&E for hours..
My mouth was so wide people thought I was smiling at them and happy to be there.. A dustman with a bin stuck on his head and two peep holes to see through asked me for a date.. said he loved my wide mouth..
I had to have my dentures removed to get the bananas out.. No-one knows where they are.... I hope the bin man still fancies me..