The Jockeys Nostril

[dextrous63]

Have a lager splash.  It is Sunday, after all.

[JBR]

Ahhh yes, the Temple of Doom down below and therein lies a door....are you sitting comfortably? ...and on this door the words, Vlad, Keeper of the Last of the Seven Eggs of Destiny.
And beyond the door lies the scroll which tells the tale of Vlad, and the Banning
Soldier and landlord was he,
Known in the forum as Vlad, his grace
Proud was he of his name and race,
Of old Sir William and Sir Hugh,
And in the snug, full in view,
His coat-of-arms, well framed and glazed,
Upon the wall in colours blazed;
He beareth guns upon his shield,
A chevron argent in the field,
With three  crossed rifles and for the crest
A parachute part-per-pale addressed
Upon a helmet barred; below
The scroll reads, "Vlad, Keeper of The Egg ."

... there is more but I have come over all thirsty...

You're a poet and you didn't know it.

[Vlad]

You're a poet and you didn't know it.

Not really JB unashamedly stolen from Tales of a Wayside Inn, by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow...it's lunchtime are you buying?

[Vlad]

In the land of Mods lived the Beasts, the Guardians of the Rules. and the Beasts were many and brought terror to those that posted without first worshiping at the altar of The Rules.

For  the rules were many, some ancient, their meanings lost in time, some that few but scholars could understand and they were numbered and these numbers would be cascaded down upon those that transgressed the rules.
And the rules were the rules and were not to be questioned but obeyed because they were the rules.

And those that did transgress did not understand The Rules, for the number of the Rule was oft accompanied by warnings and signs of the rolling eyes, sighs and tut tuts, and the people were sore afraid that were to be  condemned to write all that was soft and fluffy till the end time for they feared the Wrath of the Guardians of the Rules
But amongst the people there were the word warriors those who cared not a jot for the soft and fluffy but who ventured unafraid into the maw of the beast and did use the words that brought down the wrath of The Guardians, the Keepers of the Rules.
Those who dared were often cast down and branded by The Guardians and they were marked with the sign  of the banned, the moderated or the watched and still the people did not understand. 
One such warrior was Vlad.......

[JBR]

In the land of Mods lived the Beasts, the Guardians of the Rules. and the Beasts were many and brought terror to those that posted without first worshiping at the altar of The Rules.

For  the rules were many, some ancient, their meanings lost in time, some that few but scholars could understand and they were numbered and these numbers would be cascaded down upon those that transgressed the rules.
And the rules were the rules and were not to be questioned but obeyed because they were the rules.

And those that did transgress did not understand The Rules, for the number of the Rule was oft accompanied by warnings and signs of the rolling eyes, sighs and tut tuts, and the people were sore afraid that were to be  condemned to write all that was soft and fluffy till the end time for they feared the Wrath of the Guardians of the Rules
But amongst the people there were the word warriors those who cared not a jot for the soft and fluffy but who ventured unafraid into the maw of the beast and did use the words that brought down the wrath of The Guardians, the Keepers of the Rules.
Those who dared were often cast down and branded by The Guardians and they were marked with the sign  of the banned, the moderated or the watched and still the people did not understand.
One such warrior was Vlad.......

Absolutely the case.  I used to be a guardian, though not on t'internet.

[Vlad]

And did you have rules, which begat rules? 

[JBR]

And did you have rules, which begat rules?

Everyone has rules and so do I, though I don't necessarily agree with them all.  I think it's wise to make up all my own rules.

[Vlad]

Everyone has rules and so do I, though I don't necessarily agree with them all.  I think it's wise to make up all my own rules.

But like my dit above, only you will know the rules, not very wise if you expect others to know your rules and don't say that they are your personal rules, all rules impact others Rules are for tge guidance of the wise and the blind obedience of fools


One such warrior was Vlad a naive and callow youth (poetic licence ok?) who stumbled by accident upon a word that opened the doorway into the Land of Mods and the Lair of the Beasts and the word was the acronym. ... and this was followed by warnings that the acronym was upsetting to 2  posters

Like the Guardians of the Rules the acronym was a strange beast who could be revealed in its fullness but never ever in its shortened form which would incur the most drastic of punishments..Even now after many years the acronym cannot be revealed but can be whispered amongst the faithful by pm or e-mail.

And Vlad in all his innocent youth did utter the acronym and spread his  good news....  and the doors to hell opened..... and the rule and it was numbered 1, 5, 7, 8 and 10 was cast down upon him and that he was to be scourged for five days and branded ' moderated' but this was not enough he would also be 'watched' for fear he might also transgress again.
And Vlad did protest to the Maker of the Rules who was to busy to reply and did  pass the transgression back to The Guardians of the Rules.
And the Guardian of the rules spoke to Vlad (and the less said about that the better) for the rules say 'thou shalt not take the name of the Maker in vain'

[Mups]

Vlad m'dear.   I think you ought to come and have a lay down after all that exertion..

I will get you a double Lager and some nibbles,  and play you some relaxing music while me and Scrumps give you a nice back massage.

How does that sound, sausage?     

[Vlad]

Vlad m'dear.  I think you ought to come and have a lay down after all that exertion..

I will get you a double Lager and some nibbles,  and play you some relaxing music while me and Scrumps give you a nice back massage.

How does that sound, sausage?     

Seeing that that is the only offer I am getting tonight I will available myself of your kind offer.😀 

[Mups]

I will give Scrumps a shout,  and we will get the sauna ready for you.  Relax.
You will feel twenty years younger by tomorrow.    

[klondike]

It's possible that Vlad will ge feeling 20 years younger considerably sooner than tomorrow if that was who I think it was I saw sneaking in the back door (conveniently left ajar) a couple of minutes ago.....

[Mups]

It's possible that Vlad will ge feeling 20 years younger considerably sooner than tomorrow if that was who I think it was I saw sneaking in the back door (conveniently left ajar) a couple of minutes ago.....

I sincerely hope you don't mean mucky Maureen has returned?
She nearly finished the poor man off last time her went down the cellar!  

[klondike]

My lips are sealed. Unless your scenario plays out and I am asked to be a witness.
P.S. it wasn't Maureen. The old dog was possibly feeling a different 20 years younger floosie.

[JBR]

Vlad m'dear.  I think you ought to come and have a lay down after all that exertion..

I will get you a double Lager and some nibbles,  and play you some relaxing music while me and Scrumps give you a nice back massage.

How does that sound, sausage?     

Lager!  Gnatspiss.