The Jockeys Nostril

[Mups]

Oh!! Ok!! then I will give it a weeks trial..
You better come up with the goods..

Be careful Scrumps,  and keep your mobile with you.
It has been said that some ladies have gone to the Presidential Suite,  and never been seen again. 

[Vlad]

Oh!! Ok!! then I will give it a weeks trial..
You better come up with the goods..

Ok, impress me...pop up to my flat aka tge Presidential Suite, and make my bed, there's a good girl. 

[Scrumpy]

Ok, impress me...pop up to my flat aka tge Presidential Suite, and make my bed, there's a good girl.

You naughty boy... You was in it all the time..
I wondered what that big lump was.. !!!

[Vlad]

You naughty boy... You was in it all the time..
I wondered what that big lump was.. !!!

Bugger!  rumbled! Many moons ago when I was in the Royal Victoria hospital, the ward was full of squaddies and each morning we would play tents just as the nurses arrived to do bed baths there was lots of giggling and 'ooh, ahhh's but that was from the patients, the nurses were never impressed. 

[Scrumpy]

You can get some very long tent poles...
I've seen them when I've been camping... back in the day..
Some are very rigid and will stay up... Others will topple at the slightest puff of wind...

[Vlad]

You can get some very long tent poles...
I've seen them when I've been camping... back in the day..
Some are very rigid and will stay up... Others will topple at the slightest puff of wind...

You have now been promoted yet again to the position of The Official in -House Philosopher to The Jockeys Nostril Gastro Pub and Leisure Facilty.
One of your tasks besides making Vlads Bed is to come into the bar each day, pull a pint for Vlad, stand upon a chair and say something clever 

Your new contract is in the post.

[dextrous63]

I'm having a hell of a week.  As well as the kitten and MiL issues, I'm also committed to painting our bedroom, and re-engineering the ottoman bed to make it taller with new and a more powerful lifting mechanism.

Thus, I need some beers with chasers!

[Vlad]

Well if you are buying.....make mine a double lager please.

[Scrumpy]

Thus, I need some beers with chasers!

 Would you like your 'chasers' Male or Female. ?
Slow runners or flash catchers ?

I am stood standing on a chair.. Whilst speaking.

[dextrous63]

Would you like your 'chasers' Male or Female. ?
Slow runners or flash catchers ?

I am stood standing on a chair.. Whilst speaking.

I've got my chef kit on, a tin of spaghetti hoops in my hand and can do an Italian accent if that helps.  Mamma Mia.😬😬😬

[Vlad]

Would you like your 'chasers' Male or Female. ?
Slow runners or flash catchers ?

I am stood standing on a chair.. Whilst speaking.

I didn't understand any of that there it must have been very clever and philosophical have yourself a drink it's on Dex

February 09, 2025, 06:53:34 PM

I've got my chef kit on, a tin of spaghetti hoops in my hand and can do an Italian accent if that helps.  Mamma Mia.😬😬😬

Be careful Gino.....

[Scrumpy]

I didn't understand any of that there it must have been very clever and philosophical have yourself a drink it's on Dex

February 09, 2025, 06:53:34 PMBe careful Gino.....

I resign... I don't want that job anymore..
I want a job where I am appreciated..
Is there any openings down the cellar.?

[dextrous63]

Ah, the mysteries of what goes on down below.  I used to know, many years ago, but I've long since forgotten due to a prolonged ban 😢😢

[JBR]

I resign... I don't want that job anymore..
I want a job where I am appreciated..
Is there any openings down the cellar.?

I have it on good authority that Vlad does have an opening down in the cellar.  It leads to a 'secret room' where he keeps his dirty women.

[Vlad]

I have it on good authority that Vlad does have an opening down in the cellar.  It leads to a 'secret room' where he keeps his dirty women.

Ahhh yes, the Temple of Doom down below and therein lies a door....are you sitting comfortably? ...and on this door the words, Vlad, Keeper of the Last of the Seven Eggs of Destiny.
And beyond the door lies the scroll which tells the tale of Vlad, and the Banning
Soldier and landlord was he,
Known in the forum as Vlad, his grace
Proud was he of his name and race,
Of old Sir William and Sir Hugh,
And in the snug, full in view,
His coat-of-arms, well framed and glazed,
Upon the wall in colours blazed;
He beareth guns upon his shield,
A chevron argent in the field,
With three  crossed rifles and for the crest
A parachute part-per-pale addressed
Upon a helmet barred; below
The scroll reads, "Vlad, Keeper of The Egg ."

... there is more but I have come over all thirsty...