The Jockeys Nostril

[Vlad]

The hour was late; the fire burned low,
The Readers eyes were closed in sleep,
And near the story's end a deep
Sonorous sound at times was heard,
As when the distant bagpipes blow.
At this all laughed; the People stirred,
As one awaking from a swound,
And, gazing anxiously around,
Protested that they had not slept,
But only shut their eyes, and kept
ears attentive to each word.
Then all arose, and said "Good Night."
Alone remained the drowsy Vlad
To rake the embers of the fire, in
And quench the waning parlor light;
While from the windows, here and there,
The scattered lamps a moment gleamed,
And the illumined hostel seemed
The constellation of the Bear,
Downward, athwart the misty air,
Sinking and setting toward the sun.
Far off the village clock struck one.
Mucky Maureen donned her gloves and prepared for fun 


And the Guardians stirred and sighed



Note: With acknowledgement to Longfellow


February 11, 2025, 12:06:55 PM

Lager!  Gnatspiss.

Well if you're buying, make mine a double....

[Scrumpy]

Vlad m'dear.  I think you ought to come and have a lay down after all that exertion..

I will get you a double Lager and some nibbles,  and play you some relaxing music while me and Scrumps give you a nice back massage.

How does that sound, sausage?     

Hang about, hang about...
I'm not massaging nuffink until I know what rule 9 is...
Be careful Mups... he's a crafty old bugger.

[Vlad]

Hang about, hang about...
I'm not massaging nuffink until I know what rule 9 is...
Be careful Mups... he's a crafty old bugger.

Rule 9 is purely a need to know, but it is basically a catch all rule inasmuch has anyone invoking Rule 9 is required to buy the landlord towhit Vlad, a double lager.

[JBR]

Rule 9 is purely a need to know, but it is basically a catch all rule inasmuch has anyone invoking Rule 9 is required to buy the landlord towhit Vlad, a double lager.

I probably would, if the Landlord returned the favour in the form of a double single malt.
(Double single is not contradictory.)

[Mups]

Hang about, hang about...
I'm not massaging nuffink until I know what rule 9 is...
Be careful Mups... he's a crafty old bugger.

OK Scrumps,  perhaps you are right.  
I thought it might relax him,  but it might also have the opposite affect!! 

[Vlad]

There is a lot of chit chat on here and not enough buying, I will have a lager please 

[Mups]

There is a lot of chit chat on here and not enough buying, I will have a lager please

If Dex is paying,  make mine Champagne please. 

[JBR]

If Dex is paying,  make mine Champagne please. 

Dex paying?  Does not compute.

[Vlad]

Dex paying?  Does not compute.

Well he does have a tab behind the bar, which is currently larger than the national debt of most African countries 

[klondike]

Dex paying?  Does not compute.

Sounds like a volunteer to me. Just a pint of Randy Donkey Piss thanks I'm watching the waistline.

[Vlad]

Sounds like a volunteer to me. Just a pint of Randy Donkey Piss thanks I'm watching the waistline.

Does Mups know that?

[klondike]

I can recommend the Randy Donkey Piss real ale to all those watching their waistlines, bumlines, bingo wings etc. etc. as it is almost calorie free. Being completely undrinkable only the tiny amount remaining after spitting out the first mouthful will add anything of calorific value to the imbibers daily intake. Since the discontinuation of Double Diamond (to which it owes its secret) it has been the premier drink for dieters.

[JBR]

I can recommend the Randy Donkey Piss real ale to all those watching their waistlines, bumlines, bingo wings etc. etc. as it is almost calorie free. Being completely undrinkable only the tiny amount remaining after spitting out the first mouthful will add anything of calorific value to the imbibers daily intake. Since the discontinuation of Double Diamond (to which it owes its secret) it has been the premier drink for dieters.

I thought that worked wonders?

[Scrumpy]

I haven't been paid for a month..
Rolling out the barrels is good fun.. but it doesn't pay my rent.. 

[Vlad]

I haven't been paid for a month..
Rolling out the barrels is good fun.. but it doesn't pay my rent..

You got a free Parker Pen !