The Jockeys Nostril

Vlad · January 29, 2025, 11:09:16 AM

Quote from: Scrumpy on January 29, 2025, 09:30:13 AMOooooo!!! Say no more...
Your secret is safe with me..

Can I be head barmaid please ?... I can make a wicked cocktail.. Customers queue up to watch me shake..

Consider yourself promoted. Know me up a quick double lager while you are here, bung on the Dex Tab

Scrumpy · January 29, 2025, 06:34:10 PM

Would you like an umbrella and cherry on top..?

Mups · January 29, 2025, 10:07:39 PM

Quote from: Scrumpy on January 29, 2025, 06:34:10 PMWould you like an umbrella and cherry on top..?

On top of what?

By the way, have we still got a poole table, dart board, and the one-armed bandit, or was they sold to pay the rent last year?

Vlad · January 30, 2025, 01:36:08 PM

All the above mentioned are noe in the leisure centre, which is open to Gold Card members, the uptake of these and the free, yes free Parker pen has been met with a certain camping of indifference.

Scrumpy · January 31, 2025, 09:49:50 AM

If I get Gold Card do I get in to the Chocolate Factory and meet Willy.. ?

klondike · January 31, 2025, 09:54:27 AM

I'm guessing that depends on just how lucky you are.

Vlad · January 31, 2025, 10:18:20 AM

Quote from: Scrumpy on January 31, 2025, 09:49:50 AMIf I get Gold Card do I get in to the Chocolate Factory and meet Willy.. ?

We can discuss this in the Landlords Flat.....please use the stairs, the lift is for Gold Card members only.

klondike · January 31, 2025, 10:27:32 AM

I reckon your chances of meeting Willy have just increased.....

Mups · January 31, 2025, 11:23:50 AM

I heard Fat Kev started work in a canteen when he lost his job here.
Has anybody let him know we are reopening soon?
I am sure he'd love to come back, perhaps with a slight advance on his wages to make sure.

Vlad · January 31, 2025, 12:22:19 PM

He now run the Gold Gourmet Restaurant available only to select members who have signed up for Gold Card Membership. Available now from mine genial host Vlad, in the bar fight now

While you are here mine is a large double lager please..

Oh BTW did I mention the FREE, yes FREE Parker Pen for those signing up to this once in a lifetime offer of. A GOLD UNLIMITED ACCESS CARD?

Mups · January 31, 2025, 04:52:24 PM

I wonder if his younger brother, Fat Fred, would like a Cook's job, or have you already got someone in mind, Landlord?

I aint gonna be waiting on many tables if we haven't got a cook, am I . .

klondike · January 31, 2025, 05:15:26 PM

Quote from: Vlad on January 31, 2025, 12:22:19 PMin the bar fight now

Anybody thinking that's a typo clearly hasn't spent any time in the Jockey's

Vlad · January 31, 2025, 05:33:45 PM

Quote from: Mups on January 31, 2025, 04:52:24 PMI wonder if his younger brother, Fat Fred, would like a Cook's job, or have you already got someone in mind, Landlord?

I aint gonna be waiting on many tables if we haven't got a cook, am I . .

Consider yourself promoted and you can have free Parker Pen for your trouble, I seem to have quite a few spare...

January 31, 2025, 05:34:42 PM

Quote from: klondike on January 31, 2025, 05:15:26 PMAnybody thinking that's a typo clearly hasn't spent any time in the Jockey's

Indeed, the Monthly Grab a Granny Night can be a tad boisterous

Vlad · February 02, 2025, 01:29:12 PM

Well it's Sunday Lunchtime here at the Jockeys Nostril Gastro pub and Leisure Complex, and the Gold Card Members Gourmet Restaurant is bulging at the seams with customers, Fat Kev and Crew are working flat out preparing and serving foods from the four corners of the Earth, which is absolute bloody nonsense. I mean it obvious innit that the world is flat.....but before I continue with this riveting tale, I have a thirst you could bloody photograph, so if one of you could pour me a large lager it would be appreciated, stick it on Dexs tab.

Now where was I?.... Ahh ... yes the Earth is obviously flat and rests on the back of 4 Giant Elephants named, Berilia, Tubul, Great T'Phon and Jerajeen who stand on the back of Great A'Tuin a Giant Star Turtle ( of the species' Chelys galactica for those of you that are interested in things ornithological) which journeys through the Cosmos......interesting eh?.....my goodness I seemed to have finished my pint, story telling is thirsty work...anyone buying?

klondike · February 02, 2025, 01:49:58 PM

Indeed sir you may have another on Dex which I shall pour.

Now I am interested in this great world turtle A'Tuin. As I recall there was much speculation over whether A'Tuin was male or female and studies were underway to discover this ultimate truth. There was a whip round to provide the necessary funding for the huge length of rope that would be needed to lower some brave sole over the edge of the world and down far enough to have a peep.

Now as I recall the funding was almost complete when the hat just disappeared. This was a week or two before the first opening of your fine establishment. I was wondering if there were any plans to start another round of fundraising which I believe you organised originally.