The Jockeys Nostril

[Scrumpy]

She's always hanging around the cellar doors.. One day I will give her the secret password that opens them up.. Her eyes will boggle.. It's a different world down there..
I went down there last week.. When I regain my strength I will go there again..
My legs are still wobbly at the moment..

[klondike]

Probably even wobblier when you come back up  

[Vlad]

Dear readers, friends and forum members, I have resubmitted my application for the position of Landlord and mine host to the CEO of Vlad Breweries Inc.  along with a request for a cleaner, bar wenches buxom or otherwise , cocktail bar manager, head of security and parking. (positions now available, contact with your CV.)

This new and exciting drinking establishment will be open to all forum members over 18 who wish to escape the slings and arrows of outrageous forum discussion and have a drink with like company in a relaxing environment
If all goes as planned then a grand reopening of The Jockeys Nostril Gastro Pub will be announced soon.

Welcome one and all
Any interior designers on here looking for job, a substantial tax free back hander could be yours.

[Ruthio]

I could be a bar wench if the position suits...but I'm not buxom so have be 'otherwise'  😆

[Vlad]

I could be a bar wench if the position suits...but I'm not buxom so have be 'otherwise'  😆

Consider yourself hired , your contract is in the post. 
Oh while you are here, can you buy me a pint, I have a thirst you can photograph. 

[Vlad]

I have had a quick gander anf have a number of questions that need answering;

1. Where are the gnomes? I spent good money on them.
2. Who has been kipping in the Landlord's flat? 
3. And Most importantly where is the Last of the 7 Eggs of Destiny?
I will leave you with that while I have another pint...

[Mups]

I believe Dex took the gnomes.    

Said he was going to repaint them . . .   so he says . 

[Scrumpy]

Ooop's I had pouched egg on toast last night..

[Vlad]

Ahh, while you two are riffling through the till, I'll have a large lunch time lager, put it on Dexs tab.

[dextrous63]

I sold the gnomes to an Oompa Loompa tribute group.  They said I could have a bit of Charlie for them, but unfortunately their idea of what this meant and what mine did differed somewhat 😳🤭

So I accepted a packet of mini chocolate eggs instead.

[klondike]

Ooop's I had pouched egg on toast last night..

About time you turned up. Get that front door fixed ASAP please. You're the only one here who has a clue how to fix it.

Well have all sorts of oddballs wandering in if it stays the way it is.

[Scrumpy]

About time you turned up. Get that front door fixed ASAP please. You're the only one here who has a clue how to fix it.

Well have all sorts of oddballs wandering in if it stays the way it is.

Oddballs..!!!  How interesting... Does it affect your walk.?

[Vlad]

Oddballs..!!!  How interesting... Does it affect your walk.?

Boom boom!

[klondike]

 
Obviously. Where else would the phrase How's it hanging originate.

[Vlad]

I hang to the left unlike my politics, odd enough on very cold days I am a centrist