The Jockeys Nostril

[Mups]

Well we'd better start on some of that loot under your mattress then. 

[dextrous63]

Well we'd better start on some of that loot under your mattress then. 

That's not loot, that's part of my moth pupae collection.

Do you want to come round and look at my new outfit?

[Mups]

Oooh,  I can't look at that.    The jerky movement makes my eyes go funny,   I have to look away.
I do mean that actually.   I'm not messing about.   
Sometimes other giffs have done that too.   Weird, aint it.
Does it affect anyone else's eyes?

I think you'd better go and get changed Dex.   It's nearly lunchtime and we can't have you frightening  old ladies coming in for their daily glass of Guiness. 

[Vlad]

Ahh there you are...I need some advice re: houseplant compost...are you free?

[dextrous63]

Verve.

[Mups]

Ahh there you are...I need some advice re: houseplant compost...are you free?

Only for you, dearest.  

[Mups]

There's a cop car parked outside,  so I'm locking up now.
No one else is likely to want a pint this time of night  -  and too bad if they do.


I'll just go and prod the landlord and wake him up.   He's snoring something awful over in the corner . . .

[klondike]

Don't  prod too hard. You need to remember the flatulence problem.

[Mups]

Don't  prod too hard. You need to remember the flatulence problem.

Too late!!    I wish I had read your warning a bit earlier.

I won't be doing any more prodding for a good while I can assure you.   

[klondike]

This time of year he'll be able to blame it on the farmers.

[dextrous63]

This time of year he'll be able to blame it on the farmers.

Aye. What he needs is for Gabriel Oak to lance his rumen and let t'gas out.

[Mups]

The old landlord's quiet.    He's not still down the cellar with that new barmaid I hope?   
No wonder he sleeps half the day.   

[dextrous63]

I have set up an array of stiff drinks on the bar for our war heroes, for (I fear) at least one may need it as he steps over the breach into no man's land....

[Mups]

I have set up an array of stiff drinks on the bar for our war heroes, for (I fear) at least one may need it as he steps over the breach into no man's land...

Well make the most of it Mr. Dex,  because I read in 'The Brewer's Weekly'  that  Alan D Lord has put this place up for auction at the end of the month.     

[Vlad]

I have set up an array of stiff drinks on the bar for our war heroes, for (I fear) at least one may need it as he steps over the breach into no man's land....

I was a tad OTT but I wil have a drink anyway, ta