The Jockeys Nostril

[Mups]

Coming up Madam...cash?

No.   Dex said he's paying. 


August 06, 2024, 02:33:09 PM

Problems with the pipework today Mups.  You can have half a pastie and a hot pint.

I thought that was just 'a man-thing?'   

[Mups]

Good morning good people.
Have those two cleaning ladies not turned up again?

Dex will have to clean the men's toilets today then,  'cos I'm not going anywhere near them.

Is the landlord still in bed?

[dextrous63]

Dex will have to clean the men's toilets today then,  'cos I'm not going anywhere near them.

I should hope not.  We've warned you about that.

In the meantime, in case you're worried there's a riot going on, there's not.  The flare I threw into the ladies' toilets to burn off the excess methane is taking longer than I thought for some reason.  Only when it's fizzled out will I attack the loos with a karcher, refill the paper holders with more sandpaper and put more swarfega into the soap dispensers.

Afterwards, I'll go and give the gents' powder room a light dusting, which is all it ever really needs.

[Scrumpy]

Will you be wearing your little pinny... And waving your feather duster.. !

[dextrous63]

Will you be wearing your little pinny... And waving your feather duster.. !

That's not a duster. It's a head of brocoli😬.

[Vlad]

All this talk of dusting has dried out my mouth, I have a thirst you could photograph, anyone buying?

[Mups]

All this talk of dusting has dried out my mouth, I have a thirst you could photograph, anyone buying?

It sure don't look like it, Vlad.  Not just yet.

Dex doesn't seem to understand what double yellow lines mean, so he's had too many parking fines to cough up for.    
Never mind,  his pension will go in again soon.    


.

[Mups]

Well,  I never thought I'd be sitting all on my own at the bar on a Friday night.

Think I'll walk down and get a bag of chips and have an early night.  

[dextrous63]

You have a short memory Mups.  Every night you're drinking alone with nobody talking to you.😬😬😬

[Mups]

You have a short memory Mups.  Every night you're drinking alone with nobody talking to you.😬😬😬

Right!   That does it!    I'm orf down the Dog & Bone,  where I'm appreciated!

[Scrumpy]

What happened there..!!  I was having a chat with Mups and she went to the loo and didn't come back.. Am I boring? 
Even Mucky Mick never winks at me..
Is it because I have a shortage of teeth.! and I'm flat chested..!!

[Vlad]

What happened there..!!  I was having a chat with Mups and she went to the loo and didn't come back.. Am I boring?
Even Mucky Mick never winks at me..
Is it because I have a shortage of teeth.! and I'm flat chested..!!

Far too much detail .......

[Mups]

What happened there..!!  I was having a chat with Mups and she went to the loo and didn't come back.. Am I boring?
Even Mucky Mick never winks at me..
Is it because I have a shortage of teeth.! and I'm flat chested..!!

No,   of course you are not boring, Scrumps.    The reason I never came back to you was someone locked me in the loo all night.    It was only when the cleaning lady came this morning, that I got out!
I am going home to get some sleep now.

[dextrous63]

I've got a suggestion Mups.  Try dressing in something that makes you more attractive.  A burka would do it.

[Vlad]

Ahh, punters...I will have a large lager please