The Jockeys Nostril

[Mups]

Oh No!         Ssshhh,  Scrumps. 


I didn't think anyone would notice him missing. 
   
I didn't  really mean to keep him locked away for quite this long,  but he is rather dishy . . . 

I'll perhaps let him go this weekend    . . . 

[dextrous63]

Oh No!        Ssshhh,  Scrumps. 


I didn't think anyone would notice him missing. 
 
I didn't  really mean to keep him locked away for quite this long,  but he is rather dishy . . . 

I'll perhaps let him go this weekend    . . . 

I can understand your attraction to him, but can't work out why he was attracted to you

[Mups]

That is not true, young man.   Sour grapes, that's what it is.

We all know you've had the hots for me as well,  but the hunky health & safety man beat you to it. 
Anyway,  he is single, so there was no wifey to send out a search party,  so I could keep him as long as I want.  

Now off you go and get the Landlord his large pint. 

[dextrous63]

Bucket of lager is on the counter for Vlad.

As for the health inspector, has he commented on the large collection of moth pupae you have collected down there over the years?

[GrannyMac]

Where's the paperwork?  H&S insist on ticking boxes!  Get the landlord several pints so he can sort himself out, or he'll lose his licence. 😱

Mups, have you seen an optician recently? 🤓

[dextrous63]

The only glasses Mups has looked through are the bottoms of bottles of meths.

[Scrumpy]

I wondered where my trolley had gone.. !!!!!!
I want it back by tomorrow Mups .. I have some shop(  )to do.. Know what I mean.. !!!

[Vlad]

Questions are being asked about the Health and Safety Inspector who entered the Jockey's Nostril 6 months ago.. He seems to have disappeared..
Last time I saw him he was in the hands of Mups.. He was smiling..
He never went through my hands.. My hands are clean and I am not going to take any stick for anyone else..

Would that account for the crumpled bedding in the landlords flat?

[Mups]

The only glasses Mups has looked through are the bottoms of bottles of meths.

No No No, Mr. Dex.    I gave that up for my New Year's resolution.

So     to you.  






July 25, 2024, 11:10:11 AM

I wondered where my trolley had gone.. !!!!!!
I want it back by tomorrow Mups .. I have some shop( )to do.. Know what I mean..

Aah,  so that's where Dex got it from, was it . . .    He sold it to me for £1.  Said he'd found it in the park,  and all the while he'd nicked it from your garage! 

I will bring it back this afternoon -  after I've clobbered that Dex bloke and got me £1 back. 

July 25, 2024, 11:13:36 AM

Would that account for the crumpled bedding in the landlords flat?

Nah,  own up!   That's  from your hanky panky with that new soft drinks Rep.    

[dextrous63]

I don't want to know about any crumpled hankies in Vlad's bed🤷🏻�♂️

[GrannyMac]

Yuk. 🤢

[Mups]

Yuk. 🤢

Yes.  Quite.  Don't want none of those in here.

Anyone know if there is any entertainment booked for this weekend?
The Dog & Bone have got a comedian.   It is rumoured to be Vlad!   

Perhaps we could get Naughty Nora from the Working Men's club?   . .

[dextrous63]

Nora?? With her scaffold dancing routine?

[Mups]

Nora?? With her scaffold dancing routine?

That's the one,  complete with hard hat. 

Only thing is,  not enough places were prepared to put up some scaffolding for her,  so she uses a kids climbing frame these days.

[GrannyMac]

You could ask Scrumpy.  'More funny stories from the Co-op'.  😄. Or klondike. 'Lidl.  The centre aisle'.  Or poaching from elsewhere, Brian. 'A man told me...'.