The Jockeys Nostril

[dextrous63]

Would £10k be enough?

[Mups]

Would £10k be enough?

It must be true what the locals say -  You must be loaded.   

But don't forget you've still got your (considerable) tab to settle yet.   
Vlad's put  3 bottles of Whiskey, a barrel of Lager,  and  6 Take - Aways on it tonight.  

[Vlad]

It must be true what the locals say -  You must be loaded. 

But don't forget you've still got your (considerable) tab to settle yet. 
Vlad's put  3 bottles of Whiskey, a barrel of Lager,  and  6 Take - Aways on it tonight. 

And a bag of salt and vinegar crisps. 

[Mups]

I found this in the car park.   Do you think she would make a good guard dog, Landlord?
We'd have to wake her up first   . .

[Scrumpy]

She will be fine.. she's got one good eye..

[Vlad]

I found this in the car park.  Do you think she would make a good guard dog, Landlord?
We'd have to wake her up first  . .

Well you are head of security, make a decision. 

[Mups]

Nah,  instruders would think a stuffed Teddy Bear more frightening than her.
I'll  take her home instead.    She can be my door stop.   

Where's that Dex bloke?  Has he settled his slate yet?   If not, there's a coach party just coming in and I told them if they get a move on,   Dex is paying.

And another thing . . .  where's that Landlord?  He is taking a suspiciously long time at the Cash & Carry today.
I reckon he's chatting up that floozie down the Dog & Bone. 

[Vlad]

Alan D Lord does not do floosies, he has class and uses after shave so there

[Vlad]

Has someone farted? It's very quiet in here....anyway we will be showing the England match in the function room tonight an there will be free peanuts...and Dex is getting the first round.

[Scrumpy]

It was fine earlier til Kev started doing his  'Now you see them.. now you don't' balls act..

[Mups]

It was fine earlier til Kev started doing his  'Now you see them.. now you don't' balls act..

Ooh don't.  

You'd think he'd learn, wouldn't you.   Last time he did that, he dropped one and the dog pinched it.

[Scrumpy]

I remember it well .. It was a race between the dog and Ethel who got it in their mouth first..  The dog won.. Poor Ethel.. she had been practicing for months..

[klondike]

Alan, 

Do you allow dogs in the Jockey's? I'm asking on behalf if my old dog Yogi who only visits very special places. 

Posters from earlier days on the mothership PF will recall that he pretty much only ever showed his face in a very special place. An alternate universe in fact. One of Brian's threads where complete suspension of belief was essential making the Jokey's ideal.

He is completely house trained and will only crap in the spinney adjoining the beer garden.


TIA
Klondike

[GrannyMac]

Welcome back Yogi!  😃😃

He'll be fine in the JN, it's similar to the cantina in Star Wars.  Some of the regulars look like Chewbacca.  And they're women...

[Yogi]

I need the OK from the boss first. Might try for a job there too. It looks like he's not fussy. I'm wondering if I'll fit though - I've noticed that some of the customers do seem distinctly odd. Naming no names naturally.