The Jockeys Nostril

[Vlad]

Dear posters, friends, Romans and Countrymen lend me you ears, I am somewhat disappointed that no one  has signed up for Saturdays Bingo Nite in the function room on Saturday oddly enough.
There will prizes ooooh! And the ever popular complimentary peanuts. Fat Kev the caller is vigorously polishing his balls ( I only added that so that Mups can slip in one of her double entendres)
Anyway the notice is on the notice board ( surprisingly enough ) Entrance is free and tickets are 5 shekels, yen, groats, conch shell or any other currency you have found in the bottom of your handbag. We do not take Rai Stones which are 12 feet in diameter and weigh a ton and are only worth 3/3d

[klondike]

Uranium Amex OK?

[Scrumpy]

Co-op Rewards Card.. ?

[Vlad]

No
and
Bloody No.

[Mups]

I didn't see any notices about Saturday's Bingo?  
 
Mind you, that new notice board is bit high up for my little legs.  
However, I eventually found a rather soggy poster stapled to the tree in the car park.  
Someone had stuck their bubble gum on it,  but it was still just about legible.

I've put my name down now  -  though I'd only got some old pennies, a couple of sixpences and a threepenny bit to pay with,  but it was accepted alright, so looking forward to it.

Only one thing though,  I am a bit apprehensive about Fat Kev's shiny balls.   If he's made them too slippery, I hope he don't drop one on his toes.  

[GrannyMac]

Bingo!  Cash prizes I hope?  I've got my dabber ready 😉

Do you give Nectar points?

[Scrumpy]

I saw Mucky Maureen playing around with a couple of Fat Kev's balls in the cellar yesterday.. I hope they remember to put them back..

[klondike]

They must be in good shape as he's always rubbing them up himself.

[Vlad]

STOP! All of you!
You are getting a bit silly now this is a serious thread about providing you lot of old people with some light entertainment that doesn't require you to use the very few brain cells you have left ok? So all of the above responses are unnecessary and a waste of bandwidth and my time. Fat Kev who has spent a lot of time ensuring his balls are clean and shiny and that none of you are at risk when he pulls them out of his sack is a bit miffed too about the unkind comments.
So let's all start acting like grown ups ok?
Edna Entertainment Coordinator.

[dextrous63]

Two fat ladies, Mups and Edna.

[Mups]

How very dare you.   


I'll have you know Me and Edna are perfect specimens of womanhood.  

Now like Vlad said,  behave yourself young man. 

[Scrumpy]

22...  Two little ducks .. Me and Mups..

[Vlad]

One and eight ....31

[Scrumpy]

One and eight ....31

That really made me giggle..

[dextrous63]

One and eight ....31

One over the eight, morelike😬

Double quart for you chief?