The Jockeys Nostril

[dextrous63]

Excellent post Vlad😬👍👍👍

However, you forgot to mention whether Buddhists can eat bacon sandwiches.  'Cos if not, then count me out.

[Vlad]

Here you go mate

https://www.kitchenstories.com/en/recipes/bacon-buddha-bowl-872f

[klondike]

Blimey that Buddhist stuff is a lot more complicated than I thought. In fact when I became unable to see my willy past my gut when looking down I thought I'd cracked it. Seems not. Seems I need Nirvana. I did used to have a couple of theirs but I emptied out the old CD rack and posted them off to MusicMagpie a while back.

Ommmmmmmmmmmmmm

[dextrous63]

Here you go mate

https://www.kitchenstories.com/en/recipes/bacon-buddha-bowl-872f

Where do I sign up??

[GrannyMac]

Vlad, your last post cracked me up! 😁😁

I've been avoiding the JN recently, I don't wish to be robbed, it's too noisy and those slappers scare me to death!  I prefer to sit in a corner, doing word games but really watching the punters.  I'll find a spot in the Buddhist corner, ta. 😉

[Vlad]

Vlad, your last post cracked me up! 😁😁

I've been avoiding the JN recently, I don't wish to be robbed, it's too noisy and those slappers scare me to death!  I prefer to sit in a corner, doing word games but really watching the punters.  I'll find a spot in the Buddhist corner, ta. 😉

You have been promoted to Cocktail Bar Manager, with an increase in salary and benefits Granny Mac your tab has been cleared and Mups head of Slapping and the Law has been told to desist.
Your solicitor has done the job mate. 
Welcome back 

[klondike]

Outside chance but has anybody seen my wallet. Not sure when I lost it but I'm sure it was probably since Christmas. Big K embossed on it. Would only have been a small amount of walking around money in it and that's not important but the wallet is of some sentimental importance.

[dextrous63]

Saw it on eBay, being sold by a Ms G Mac for around £5k starting bid.

(@Grannie- are we splitting the profits it 60-40 after paying off the new tab and putting some cash behind the bar?)

[Mups]

Outside chance but has anybody seen my wallet. Not sure when I lost it but I'm sure it was probably since Christmas. Big K embossed on it. Would only have been a small amount of walking around money in it and that's not important but the wallet is of some sentimental importance.

Don't believe a word of it, folks. 
 
That wallet was stuffed solid with twenties and fifties  -  notice I say  "WAS,"  'cos we've spent most if it, and was hoping he would was going to refill it from that ginormous stash under his mattress.

(Rumour has it, that he has to use a stepladder to get into bed even). 

[klondike]

Notes are small change surely?

Real transactions are conducted using ones Uranium Amex card which as Vlad will testify is non acceptable in any part of the Galaxy saving you huge expense.

[Vlad]

Notes are small change surely?

Real transactions are conducted using ones Uranium Amex card which as Vlad will testify is non acceptable in any part of the Galaxy saving you huge expense.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 I have just snorted tea over mt iPad 🤣🤣🤣

[Mups]

Notes are small change surely?

  cough . .  splutter . . .  "notes are small change?"  . . . 
God,  we must have Elon Musk in here, ladies.


Klondike,  did you know you are the wealthiest punter to have frequented the Jockeys Nostril since it opened in 1850.  Vlad will tell you the same, because he was here at the opening ceremony. 

He's  gonna want some of that for the new dining extension,  as will the two cleaning ladies, too. 
They threatened to go on strike last week after having to scrub all the vulgar jokes  scribbled on the Gent's walls.  They have demanded a substantial rise.

Failing all else,  perhaps you would like to take us all on a nice coach trip and day out at the seaside? 

 

[Scrumpy]

just had a leaflet thrown in my porch..
Join our Buddhist community... Meeting at the Co-op hall tonight..
100 points added to Co-op Membership Card.
We will train you up for a month.. Teaching you how to push a wonky trolley using just one finger .. How to reach goods on the top shelf by using just your feet..
Our aim is to beat the shit out of Waitrose..


Vlad... Your post was brilliant.. 

[klondike]

  cough . .  splutter . . .  "notes are small change?"  . . . 
God,  we must have Elon Musk in here, ladies.

Not at all. I am the possessor of a Uranium Amex card and always dine out. Eat drink and be merry then when the bill arrives just present said card which is accepted nowhere. If they get uppity offer them a good review on ScoffAdvisor and that is usually sufficient.

[Vlad]

  cough . .  splutter . . .  "notes are small change?"  . . . 
God,  we must have Elon Musk in here, ladies.


Klondike,  did you know you are the wealthiest punter to have frequented the Jockeys Nostril since it opened in 1850.  Vlad will tell you the same, because he was here at the opening ceremony. 

He's  gonna want some of that for the new dining extension,  as will the two cleaning ladies, too. 
They threatened to go on strike last week after having to scrub all the vulgar jokes  scribbled on the Gent's walls.  They have demanded a substantial rise.

Failing all else,  perhaps you would like to take us all on a nice coach trip and day out at the seaside? 

 

A charabanc to Barry Island?

June 27, 2024, 02:15:28 PM

just had a leaflet thrown in my porch..
Join our Buddhist community... Meeting at the Co-op hall tonight..
100 points added to Co-op Membership Card.
We will train you up for a month.. Teaching you how to push a wonky trolley using just one finger .. How to reach goods on the top shelf by using just your feet..
Our aim is to beat the shit out of Waitrose..


Vlad... Your post was brilliant.. 

Thank you Scrumpy, I have too much time on my hands. 🤪🤪