You Couldn't Make it Up Thread

[Alex]

Phil has started this thread over on PF, no idea why he didn't start it on here, but hey I've nicked it !

Just read the Co- Op has stopped selling Russian Vodka, hope Scrumpy asks Tracy what she thinks of that

[Scrumpy]

Tracey probably doesn't even know that.. She was excited today because she won 12 pounds at the Bingo last night down the social club..
She also mentioned, more than once, that her arm was a bit painful and it hurt to lift it above her head.. She demonstrated this action then said 'Ouch' to prove her point..

[Alex]

A few voddies will ease any pain, poor Tracy

[Alex]

Sainsbury's renames 'Chicken Kiev' to 'Chicken Kyiv' in solidarity with Ukraine

[Scrumpy]

I wonder if those Russian 'Ladies' that  offer their services online are doing any business..!!

[zoony]

I imagine they're busier than ever.. All those wealthy politicians needing translators.. 

[Diasi]

I wonder if those Russian 'Ladies' that  offer their services online are doing any business..!!

Well I'm telling the one's that want to get to know me more closely that I've sanctioned them.

[Alex]

A fraudster from Manchester cheated the child benefit and tax credit system out of more than £1.7 million pounds ... with claims for 188 FAKE children.

Ali Bana Mohamed used relatives and friends from Birmingham and London to assist in the scam. This involved submitting bogus claims in about 70 different names.

How on earth did they get away with that ?  1.7 MILLION !!!!

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/group-fraudsters-involved-17million-benefit-23282874?utm_source=twitter.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=sharebar

[Scrumpy]

Because the areas he applies for benefits are usually run by others with the same ideas..!!

[Diasi]

Because the areas he applies for benefits are usually run by others with the same ideas..!!

Actually it's virtually certain that what you say is correct.

I find it impossible to find any other way it could have happened without insider connivance.

[Diasi]

Also from the same link as the benefits article, some worthless drunken banned driver scrote, from a traveller site, dies after failing to stop for police & then some tossers on a jury decide the police shouldn't have tried to stop him.

https://bit.ly/3sIZs6l

[Michael Rolls]

Frankly, good bloody riddance. No licence, no insurance, drunk. Let's be grateful the little scumbag only killed him self and not innocent road users as could so easily have been the case
Mike

[Diasi]

Frankly, good bloody riddance. No licence, no insurance, drunk. Let's be grateful the little scumbag only killed him self and not innocent road users as could so easily have been the case
Mike

Well I certainly endorse your view as it's also mine.

Another of life's mysteries is why, when a scrote dies, he's always a lovable rogue, liked by everyone.

I'm waiting for the day when a head teacher stands there & says they were a useless trouble-making little shit who we all knew would come to a sticky end.

Lol. 

[Michael Rolls]

and he did - very deservedly
Mike

[klondike]

Somebody mentioned money in dormant accounts and I said it has to be paid as I've had letters about piddling amounts of money from one of the many accounts my father opened then stripped of cash but it seems didn't close. Had another today. There is £0.01 in the account. They sent their letter together with 2 A4 sheets one of which requires quite a bit of detail about my father and my mother which I would need to dig out from filed papers (somewhere) in order for them to pay. The others I've had have all the stuff printed out and you just sign it and send it back. This lot want to compare my answers to what they have on record.

I was kind enough to write his name and address and tick the box to give WWF the £0.01 but just wrote daigonally across the rest NOT TO HAND and posted it back.