Anonymous

[Scrumpy]

Should a sperm donor or the parents of a child that has been adopted stay anonymous..?

My answer is YES.. I think it very sad when up pops the ( biological) parents .. probably years later wanting to be involved with their child...
Sad for the adoptive parents who has raised a child and has the well earned title of Mummy and Daddy..

[Raven]

Very much so, keep their nose well out.

[GrannyMac]

I agree, unless the child wants to know. That's a different question I think.

[dextrous63]

I'd imagine that records of who donated the sperm have to be kept in case it turns out later in life that he has a genetic propensity for certain ailments.  Otherwise, my view is that they should be destroyed.

[Alex]

My answer would be yes too.

[Mups]

I agree, unless the child wants to know. That's a different question I think.

That's true Granny.

Which is worse I wonder -  to be lied to about parentage, only to find out the truth later in life,  or to be told the truth in the first place?

A difficult decision I should think.

[klondike]

I imagine if anonymity is compromised it would put some donors off. Possibly lots.

[Mups]

I imagine if anonymity is compromised it would put some donors off. Possibly lots.

Probably,  yes it would.

But there is always two ways of looking at things.

Imagine if you were still young and growing up, and for some reason wanted to know about your background.
Or maybe you were exploring your ancestry even.
But whatever the reason,  would you feel more hurt if you found out you'd been lied to all your life,  or more hurt if you knew the truth?

[Silver Tabby]

Truth may hurt - but is usually less painful than a lie.

[GrannyMac]

Mups 👍🏽

We have an adopted child in the wider family. Nowadays adopted children are given information from quite a young age, usually in a 'life story' book about their biological family.  Not all adopted children are curious about their origins, but many are.  Programmes like 'Long Lost Family' are often about adopted children trying to find a blood relative.   DNA results can be posted on line via sites like Ancestry nowadays too.

[Scrumpy]

I always feel sad for those that have adopted a child.. Watched it grow up into something very special to them.. Then , all of a sudden, another takes their place..
It's like gatecrashing the perfect birthday party..