Bollards !

[Alex]

Does anyone else find this funny ?  I think it's hilarious, but it's not a joke....
 "New bollards fitted to secure car"

[klondike]

Look cast iron secure to me. How could anybody take it now? 

[Scrumpy]

There is no way possible for anyone to nick the motor..
Do they sell them on Amazon..!!  I want some..
 

[Mups]

There is no way possible for anyone to nick the motor..
Do they sell them on Amazon..!!  I want some..
 

Yeah,  me too. 
What a good idea. 

[Scrumpy]

I think they come up and down.. by remote control..
I'm going to lodge MY idea.. Don't you lot copy me..
I've got my slate and chalk at the ready to draw my design.

[dextrous63]

Ah, but you are forgetting that the lawns aren't in fact lawns.  They are wafer thin covers over shark infested pools.

Mock ye not.

[Mups]

Ah, but you are forgetting that the lawns aren't in fact lawns.  They are wafer thin covers over shark infested pools.

Mock ye not.

PLUS   the 97 security cameras in the hedges, on the garage roof, on the front door, in the car itself,  in the pair of old trainers left on the doorstep,  and on the roof of the Ice Cream van parked outside  . . . .   if the Sharks haven't ate them of course  . . .

[klondike]

I think they come up and down.. by remote control..

I'm pretty sure they do. Look forward to the early morning reverse out when they are left up....

[Vlad]

I think they come up and down.. by remote control..
I'm going to lodge MY idea.. Don't you lot copy me..
I've got my slate and chalk at the ready to draw my design.

Yes they are retractable....

[Alex]

Obviously didn't realise reversing out over next doors lawn would bypass the bloody bollards 

[Michael Rolls]

that would be my method - easy peasy

[dextrous63]

I take all the wheels off and remove the engine every night, and put them under a wasp nest in the back garden.  Nobody's nicked my car ever since I started doing this.