Don't even ask !!

[Scrumpy]

One of my mates will be phoning me later.. She is a lovely kind person and we get on well.. BUT..
It is fatal to ask the question How are you?
She has so many things wrong with her.. and whatever you have .. she has had it..
Whatever illness is mentioned.. she has had it.. 

Have you any (interesting ) friends.?

[Mups]

One of my mates will be phoning me later.. She is a lovely kind person and we get on well.. BUT..
It is fatal to ask the question How are you?
She has so many things wrong with her.. and whatever you have .. she has had it..
Whatever illness is mentioned.. she has had it..

Have you any (interesting ) friends.?

That's tricky isn't it.   However,  if all her ailments are true though,  it can't be much fun.
Perhaps you could put her on speaker phone,  and let her talk while you get on with something else. 

[klondike]

We had an Irish neighbour once that could talk the hind leg off a donkey, If either of us got caught by her and the other was unwary enough to come close the trick was to get them involved  in the "conversation" and sneakily slope off.

On one occasion she lost her thread and had to ask "What was I saying?". Neither of us had a clue. One favoutite hers was "Ohhh Jesus Mary and Joseph". We were still occasionally slipping that one in several houses later.