Today I discovered a portal into an alternate universe

[klondike]

As anyone with even a nodding acquaintance with quantum mechanics knows one explanation held by some quantum physicists to explain the conundrum posed by Schrödinger's dead and alive cat thought experiment is that with each quantum interaction where there are alternate outcomes a fresh universe is created to accommodate the alternate choice which the then current universes did not take. Admittedly most of those quantum physicists are the sort with more than a passing acquaintance with recreational chemicals but hey that is a majority of them.

Quite apart from no explanation of where the energy came from for this infinite plethora of universes until now there has never been a portal to an alternate universe discovered either. Well today I have narrowed it down as I know with certainty that one exists within my house and I am hoping to be able to sell it at a truly astronomical price to Elon Musk as he may be able to use one instead of all those expensive rocket things he is buggering about with.

Let me explain.

Over the summer I added a radiator to my central heating system. When I did that to save draining the entire system I shut off all the radiators at both ends - lockshields and thermostatic valves. Once I had done the pipework I only turned back on the radiator on the section where I had added the extra rad, topped that up and tested the system for leaks. I didn't bother with the rest at the time as I would need to get everything balanced to my requirements when I first put it back on.

Today was chilly enough overnight for this to be that day. I have the minimal tools necessary in a kitchen draw - a bleed key and a pair of pliers to open the lockshields. I keep these and a few other tools there to remove the need for fruitlessly searching through several toolboxes only to discover that one or more of the needed items have mysteriously disappeared (already a clue to that portal).

I went round opening up all the valves and turned on the heating. A check for leaks showed all was well. I let the system run a while and set off with my tools and an IR thermometer to make sure all the rads were getting a fair share and slightly cranking down those more than adequately served. I bled each rad too and was pleased to find all OK with the highest point - the bathroom towel rad being the only one with any significant air needing bleeding off.

Well pleased I went to replace the tools in the kitchen drawer. No pliers. I revisited every radiator. No pliers in sight anywhere near them. Clearly like other items that have vanished from my toolbox over the years those pliers have crossed through the portal. Possibly to stock the inventory of Elon Musk's Martian colony in that alternate universe where he has one already. Possibly because I found a portal sooner and he bought my house.

Quite probably that already happened many times in fact but I was unfortunate enough on every occasion to occupy the universes where it didn't.

[Michael Rolls]

    

[Dextrous63]

Ta.

Top tip- tie the tools you are going to use to your belt with pieces of string.  That way you'll never be able to leave one behind when you go back to put things away.