I knew..

[Scrumpy]

That when I turned up everybody would leave .. I feel like a bloody wallflower stood here leaning against the bar.. Even the bartender went down the cellar half an hour ago and didn't come back..
  Is Mucky Maureen still active.. ?

[Mups]

Feel not alone Scrumpy,  it's been happening to me all week too.   
Is it possible we need to change our deodorant do you think?   

As for the bartender still down the cellar,  I'm afraid the answer is Yes about Mucky Maureen.
And not only that,  I saw her sneak in the back door with her mate 'Naughty Nora'  too.
Someone needs to check on the wellbeing of that bartender.  He's only a young lad, and this was his first job.

[Scrumpy]

'His first job' ... He must be over the moon...

[Mups]

'His first job' ... He must be over the moon...

Yes,  I daresay he is.
Went in as a boy and emerged as a man, I'm told.  
His Mum was livid.