Merry Christmas

[dextrous63]

Now that shops are increasingly adorned with Christmas decorations and produce, we might as well accept that the festive season is actually here and not bother waiting until late December.  After all, I've just read that the Christmas special edition of All Creatures Great and Small will be broadcast on.... 5th Dec.🤷🏻�♂️🙄

[GrannyMac]

You just wanted to be first to mention the C word.  🤶 🎅 🎄 

[dextrous63]

Ho ho ho.

[Mups]

I must have got a bit over-excited this year, because not only have I bought all my Christmas cards,   but written on them and stuck stamps on the envelopes all ready to post.
Only got a couple more pressies left to get now, too.  
Beat that then!  

[dextrous63]

We have (well my wife has) done all the cards from us as well as her mother.  I've printed all the address labels. They're all ready to be sent, although well not put stamps on in case any of them die in the interim😬😬😬

[Ruthio]

🤢🤮🤯🥶🥵

[dextrous63]

Jingle bells, jingle bells 🎶🎶

[Vlad]

I must have got a bit over-excited this year, because not only have I bought all my Christmas cards,  but written on them and stuck stamps on the envelopes all ready to post.
Only got a couple more pressies left to get now, too. 
Beat that then! 

I have posted this before..but what the hell...

CHANGING ATTITUDES to Christmas are evident in the greetings card shops as well. (Where did they come from, anyway? They're like candle shops. Ten years ago they didn't exist; now they're infesting every shopping mall from Bodmin to Bannockburn. How many stuffed Garfields and heart-shaped balloons do we need? Why can't we just buy our greetings cards from the limited display next to the jars of sweets in the local newsagents, just like we used to do? With the price written on the back in pencil, which we always forgot to remove?)

Anyway, I was in one such shop this week when I saw a Christmas card inscribed: "To Dad and Partner". Says a lot that, about the way we live our modern lives. There's an understated anguish; the years of childhood angst caused by separation and divorce, made real by a bit of pink cardboard scattered with glitter.

On the surface, it's a heartfelt sentiment. Underneath is a maelstrom of confusion, bitterness and tears. I don't know why they just don't be honest and make cards dedicated "To Dad and that Slut with the Loose Knickers from Number 62".

Or, to be fair, "To Mum and the 25-year-old Somalian tribesman whose mud hut you fled to last year. Enjoy the goats. And the used spectacles

[dextrous63]

👍👍👍

I blame Charles Dickens.

[Vlad]

👍👍👍

I blame Charles Dickens.

Now there's a tale.....

[dextrous63]

Now there's a tale.....

He's partly responsible for all this Christmas nonsense.

[Scrumpy]

How I love Christmas..
And all the stuff that goes with it.. 
Carol singing.. crackers.. turkey and family get togethers..
I guess the shops start early in order to get rid of their stock..
I was in Oxford Street some while back and was disappointed with the Christmas lights.. 
Nothing religious.. Very sad..
One seldom sees the manger with Mary , Joseph and baby Jesus.. these days..

🎶 Deck the halls with boughs of holly 🎶 
   Tra la la la la.. la la la la.. 🎵 

[dextrous63]

Was Christmas invented back then, Scrumps? 😬😬😬

[Scrumpy]

Probably not.. All in my vivid imagination..
 

[Vlad]

Christmas Eating and other Survival tips.
Parties
 1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving something significantly less healthy.

2. Drink as much of others people's exotic alcoholic beverages as you can, especially if it's someone who normally has to assess the cost when giving you the time of day (extra points if they are related to you). This opportunity will not present itself until next Christmas or when one of their offspring gets married. Besides, they'd do the same to you. And what the fkin hell is eggnog all about? it looks like bright yellow snot.....
3. If something comes with sauce of any description, use it in copious quantities. That's the whole point of sauce - pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with sauce. Eat the volcano. Repeat. Nuffing wrong with tomato sauce on your Turkey
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skimmed milk or whole milk. If it's skimmed, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic gear box


Stay tuned there will be more