Living on the Edge

[Mups]

Or possibly men in general 

Excactly. 


August 15, 2024, 12:20:29 PM

Some very personal details there Mups.  You must know Alan D Lord very well....😯

All rumours,  GrannyM.  -  Apart from the socks of course. 
If the wind is coming from the North,  I can smell 'em from here. 

[Vlad]

Mups, check your email

August 15, 2024, 01:29:33 PM

Men will tell  women most things about themselves..
How they can park a motor in any space no matter how small the space is..
How they can shop in half the time a woman can.
How well endowed they are..

They don't need to tell about smelly socks and 'wind' problems , they speak for themselves..

Here you go mate...

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bin, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man can forget his mistakes. 
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!


Let the battle begin....

[klondike]

Certainly this one is in the correct thread.

[Vlad]

I have body armour, a reinforced jock strap and a metal colander on my head..I am ready 
Bring it on wimmen!

[JBR]

August 15, 2024, 01:29:33 PMHere you go mate...
MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

etc., etc.

Brilliant!  And absolutely true.

I want to show this to Marge.
However, on reflection I think that I'd better not.

[Vlad]

Brilliant!  And absolutely true.

I want to show this to Marge.
However, on reflection I think that I'd better not.

Man up! War has been declared by the Wimmen! Do it!

[JBR]

Man up! War has been declared by the Wimmen! Do it!

Call me a wimp and a coward if you will, but no.  You haven't seen Marge when she's angry.

[Vlad]

You are a  wimp! 
Mrs Vlad, peace and blessings on here name and worth the camel has one of THOSE looks..
The look that would stop a charging, wounded, menopausal water buffalo in its tracks! 
I have been there, and lived to tell the tale, because I am a Man! 

My name is Vlad, a God amongst Men 
Look on my body , ye Wimmen and despair!'

[Scrumpy]

August 15, 2024, 01:29:33 PMHere you go mate...

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

You have hit the nail on the head..

They are 'Happier People'
Because..
They have a good woman ..
She washes his pants and socks
Cooks his meals
Cleans the home
Breast feeds his baby
Nurses him when he has a pimple on his bum
Wipes the tears he cries if his football team loses
Praises his efforts when trying to build a 'flat pack'
without reading the instructions..
Reassures him that he is the best looking guy in the room.. whilst crossing her fingers behind her back.
Lets him think he has won the game of snap when playing against a 5 year old..
And we never tell when we notice the (small) bald spot beginning on the back of his head..

Come on ladies... Add to the list..

[klondike]

Hmmm

without reading the instructions..

I shall say but one word on that and the word is

Shed

[Vlad]

Ahhhh, Sheds...I love it when you talk dirty...

[klondike]

If you are ever short of woodscrews when fixing up the Jockey's just ask here as it is possible that somebody might be able to help.

August 15, 2024, 05:11:59 PM
Handy tip found on Quora if this gets out of hand...

Is it true that, in a duel, drawing second gives you a speed advantage?

This was suggested by Niels Bohr - the legendary physicist.

He even tested it out in mock duels with toy pistols - and won every time. Or so the story goes.

So Andrew Welchman, a neuroscientist from the University of Birmingham, decided to test it. And actually it turns out...



...Bohr was right!

When reacting to an opponent, people really do move about 9% faster.

It seems to involve a different pathway in the brain that is simply quicker. Reaction is faster than intention.

But.

If you ever find yourself in a duel, tell your opponent about this 'reactive advantage'...



...and then draw first.

Because although your opponent will move 9% faster when reacting, the advantage is outweighed hugely by starting slightly later.

They will save 21 milliseconds by moving more quickly. But they will have already taken 200 milliseconds to react. Bang! Too late.

So why did Bohr win every time?

'Our data make it unlikely that these victories can be ascribed to the benefits associated with reaction. Rather, they suggest that Bohr was a crack shot, in addition to being a brilliant physicist.'

[Vlad]

I was just going to say that!

[Mups]

You have hit the nail on the head..
They are 'Happier People'
Because..
They have a good woman ..
She washes his pants and socks
Cooks his meals
Cleans the home
Breast feeds his baby
Nurses him when he has a pimple on his bum
Wipes the tears he cries if his football team loses
Praises his efforts when trying to build a 'flat pack'
without reading the instructions..
Reassures him that he is the best looking guy in the room.. whilst crossing her fingers behind her back.
Lets him think he has won the game of snap when playing against a 5 year old..
And we never tell when we notice the (small) bald spot beginning on the back of his head..
Come on ladies... Add to the list..



Ah Scrumpy,  you are so spot on, gal.    All true.    Couldn't put it better myself.

And why do they always think the t.v.  remote belongs only to them?
And   why do they  never do the jobs they promised to do?
And  when the lovely  ladies have been worrying about something for weeks, and eventually try to talk to them,  why do they only ever answer in about 3 words and a grunt?

We never complain when they go to get us a drink in the Jockey's,  but go on the fruit machine for 3 hours on the way back.
They go to the Gents, meet up with their mates, and leave us  twiddling our thumbs for another 2 hours.
Then when they've had a skinful  we drive them safely home.   

Yes,  no wonder they are 'happier people.'   

[Silver Tabby]

If you are ever short of woodscrews when fixing up the Jockey's just ask here as it is possible that somebody might be able to help.

August 15, 2024, 05:11:59 PM
Handy tip found on Quora if this gets out of hand...

Is it true that, in a duel, drawing second gives you a speed advantage?

This was suggested by Niels Bohr - the legendary physicist.

He even tested it out in mock duels with toy pistols - and won every time. Or so the story goes.

So Andrew Welchman, a neuroscientist from the University of Birmingham, decided to test it. And actually it turns out...



...Bohr was right!

When reacting to an opponent, people really do move about 9% faster.

It seems to involve a different pathway in the brain that is simply quicker. Reaction is faster than intention.

But.

If you ever find yourself in a duel, tell your opponent about this 'reactive advantage'...



...and then draw first.

Because although your opponent will move 9% faster when reacting, the advantage is outweighed hugely by starting slightly later.

They will save 21 milliseconds by moving more quickly. But they will have already taken 200 milliseconds to react. Bang! Too late.

So why did Bohr win every time?

'Our data make it unlikely that these victories can be ascribed to the benefits associated with reaction. Rather, they suggest that Bohr was a crack shot, in addition to being a brilliant physicist.'

First picture looks like Lee Van Cleef

Second picture looks like Dex when he has been on the beer,

and the Third picture looks like Clint Eastwood!