A Ripping Yarn.

[dextrous63]

Do Sarf African dogs have a particular accent?  Or a particular bark?

Don't they say sisiges instead of sausages?

And do they add a g in the middle of "woof"?

[GrannyMac]

Yis. 😉

[Scrumpy]

I am so sorry but I will not be at the shooting...
Matron said I am not allowed out and must stop showing off..
She has taken away my dentures..

[Vlad]

I am so sorry but I will not be at the shooting...
Matron said I am not allowed out and must stop showing off..
She has taken away my dentures..

and so it bloody starts! Bloody prima donnas..
Anyway I have a stand in to replace you. So there! 

Oh btw I need an Australian..anyone got a spare Australian hanging about who needs some acting work?

May 31, 2024, 08:42:29 AM

5. A wing commander, ideally someone old with a limp,  a big moustache and a dog ....Position filled, coz she has a dog

I don't have a dog either..... I can feel a flounce coming on here.....c

Can you do an Australian accent?

[Vlad]

Good morning actors....

An update ...again 

A hero.... would suit a rugged handsome tallyho! type  
( moustache is not obligatory ) .......Position filled, because of the hair....Klondike

2. Air traffic controller. ... would suit someone with a short attention span...position filled..Dextorious.

3. An engineer.. anyone who knows about spanners and has a cockney accent.... think Dick Van Dyke......position filled if Phil agrees...he has a toolbox.

4. A German Pilot ' boo hiss', would suit someone with a bad German accent, monocle and a scar....position filled..Scrumpy from Bar Wench to Pilot...( promotion is fast in Vlad Entertainment)

5. A wing commander, ideally someone old with a limp,  a big moustache and a dog ....Position filled...Granny Mac, coz she has a dog promoted from Chariot driver.

6. A couple of Commonweath / Johnny Foreigners  pilots, for the drinking and crash and burn  scenes, ....position filled..South African pilot, a big mate of our Hero Klondike...JBR
in the role of JB Van Driver from South Africa. Australian fighter pilot Alex Billabong Tie me Kangaroo Down.

7. A few more bods for walk on parts and to fill in the crowd scenes in the pub  + a supporting casts of thousands and a few chariots drivers ....Granny Mac..chariot driver #1.....dual role because after scene 1 she has bugger all else to do. 

8. A barmaid or two would suit a busty forum wench..

9. A landlord ......position filled..... by Vlad highly qualified in the role, his half litre snatch is a joy to behold.


We are looking good 

[JBR]

Good morning actors....

An update ...again


6. A couple of Commonweath / Johnny Foreigners  pilots, for the drinking and crash and burn  scenes, ....position filled..South African pilot, a big mate of our Hero Klondike...JBR
in the role of JB Van Driver from South Africa. Australian fighter pilot Alex Billabong Tie me Kangaroo Down.

Er, no.  I agreed to play the dog.  I'm good at dogging.

[GrannyMac]

Nope, just no.  I don't have a dog!  But I could get off my chariot and be a buxom bartender? 

[Vlad]

Bloody actors! The casting is now fixed, if you want to be part time buxom bar wenches no problem ....the cameras will roll tomorrow, I hope you have read your lines and signed your your contracts. Thank you 

[klondike]

hope you have read your lines

Good job heroes are strong silent types....

[Vlad]

So true mate, the lesser actors in this great tale are always bloody whining, I blame the guvvermunt

[dextrous63]

I can't possibly perform without my daily tonic of aniseed balls which have to be steamed at exactly 87.3 degrees over a bowl of angoras goat piss. 

[Vlad]

Do Sarf African dogs have a particular accent?  Or a particular bark?

May 30, 2024, 10:17:13 PMPerhaps I should mention, before filming begins, that I am not house-trained.

Thats the bloody least of my worries on this set...have you seen the toilets?

[Vlad]

I can't possibly perform without my daily tonic of aniseed balls which have to be steamed at exactly 87.3 degrees over a bowl of angoras goat piss.

Bloody behave!

[klondike]

I've just tripped over a bowl of what smells like Angoran goat piss. What sort of idiot leaves stuff like that laying on the floor. Off to get my ankle checked over.

[dextrous63]

A good way to avoid ankle pain is... to look where you're bleeding well going and not kick a necessity of my very being.