A Ripping Yarn.

[klondike]

Entirely your call. No rules here really.

[Vlad]

Entirely your call. No rules here really.

Ok, thanks , I think I will stick with posting on here then. Cheers.

[Scrumpy]

Whatever you decide to write about will, without doubt, be amusing..

[JBR]

Whatever you decide to write about will, without doubt, be amusing..

Amusing?  Gripping!

[Scrumpy]

..... and Clever !!

[JBR]

Certainly inventive.

[klondike]

Well that's the first two awards sorted then 

[Vlad]

😂😂😂😂

June 07, 2024, 07:08:03 PM
'Good Evening, ladies, gentlemen dogs and cats, this Vlad Radio ( a part of Vlad Entertainment) bringing you a live broadcast from the Jockeys Nostril where this years Vlad Achievement Awards are being held.....we take you straight to our on the spot reporter...Terry 'Scoop' O'Toole....

' Good evening ladies and gentlemen This is Terry 'Scoop' O'Toole Junior Entertainment Reporter for the Badger Owners Weekly...... Live from the front door of The Jockey's Nostril Gastro Pub, where tonight forum members will celebrate the Vlad Grand Achievement  Awards for basically doing bugger all

There is a large crowd of eager photographers, autograph hunters, well-wishers and homicidal stalkers gathered here tonight to watch the arrival of the limos pulling  up outside the main entrance depositing the very cream of the celebrity circuit on our doorstep. 
Soap stars, children's TV presenters and daytime fashion gurus, not to mention the usual glut of astrologers and footballers, who always seem to turn up at these events despite the lack of invitation. 
Oh! .........A VW minibus has just arrived disgorging this  season's batch of high-profile slappers, hangers on, ne'er do wells, tramps and senior management from the forum....but wait...this is astonishing...I have never seen one this big ever (said the actress to the archbishop)....
The biggest limousine we have ever witnessed has just  appeared from  around the corner and is driving to the main entrance  of the function room  with stately grace. Window after window sails slowly passes us, tinted black, reflecting our own expectant faces but offering no clue as to the occupants . it has come to a stop..... Doors are opening - many doors - and a platoon of bodyguards are jumping out  to flank the vehicle. a handsome youngish couple emerge to a roar of delight from the assembled throng. She is slender and  scantily dressed, graceful, with a radiant smile and flowing golden hair. Her companion, certainly not platonic is  wearing a white military uniform with rows of bling on his chest, I did notice a VD and Scar and a WC and chain amongst the many awards, svelte, pleasantly rugged, with chiselled features and steel blue eyes he strides through the entrance.
The crowd are adoring them, and this delightful couple acknowledged their love and affection with a smile and a wave yes..it was Vlad and current squeeze, making their way to the free bar.
Free? I now return you to the studio for the weather report....hold that door!......

[GrannyMac]

Hilarious stuff! I particularly like the description 'lithe and stunning' sadly I think you may need a)new glasses, b) a cataract op, c)less alcohol. ☺️

[JBR]

I hope you don't mind my asking, but who is Stately Grace?
Is she an actress, or perhaps even royalty?

[Vlad]

Hilarious stuff! I particularly like the description 'lithe and stunning' sadly I think you may need a)new glasses, b) a cataract op, c)less alcohol. ☺️

That's your chance gone then...I was thinking of writing a little about your triumphant return to Rome after receiving your Best Chariot Driver of the Games Award...look like you just done a Sunak mate 😀 Edit  thought you were talking me, then realised it was you...😁😁 I bet you were though.


June 07, 2024, 08:01:18 PM

I hope you don't mind my asking, but who is Stately Grace?
Is she an actress, or perhaps even royalty?

My lips are sealed but she is a biggie..a member of a small Royal Family a cousin of Amazing Grace in one of the Baltic countries according to Vladopedia

[Alex]

" svelte, pleasantly rugged, with chiselled features and steel blue eyes"  you nicked that from Steve Mc Queen's biography shame on you !!

[Vlad]

" svelte, pleasantly rugged, with chiselled features and steel blue eyes"  you nicked that from Steve Mc Queen's biography shame on you !!

Bugger! Rumbled, I gather you are a fan?

[Scrumpy]

A biggie..!! Um, um.. Could it be Alison Hammond..?

[Vlad]

I am hoping that you have prepared your acceptance speech, a reminder of the nominees....

the nominees for the Vlad Grand Achievement Awards for Achieving very little  are....

In the Best Landlord category

Vlad.

In the Best Actor category
Klondike for his role as Biggles
Phil and his toolbox

In the Best female Actor category we have
Alex as Bilibong Didgeridoo the Australian pilot
Scrumpy as Baroness Scrumpy Pinkenstein Von Strangelholder, A German pilot

in the Best Chariot Drive category
Granny 'Shortfall' Mac
And a load of other chariot drivers
Including Colin and Alan.

Best Foreign Actor
JBR South African Air Force
A Penguin

Best Sound Effects
A Black Lab

Best Wardrobe malfunction...
Scrumpy for buying the Cheapest Bust Enhancers on Amazon Prime

Best Music Score
Los Amigos Mexican Band

Best Walkon Part
Dextorious as a dog handler
...............
Thank you