Conspiracies and stuff.

[Vlad]

Following on from a post that Alex had posted re Weather control and other conspiracies..a tale.

I emerged reluctantly from unconsciousness (medically induced) to catch part of a conversation between bed 3 and 4, I was to learn later that bed 3 was a fully paid up conspiracyloon.
The conversation from  bed 3 was about an upcoming solar eclipse in the USA, something that I was not aware of. I did wonder why only the USA and apparently it had been booked to happen some time ago.
Bed 3 had apparently been rabbiting on for some time at bed 4 that it was all fake and in fact it was not possible because the Earth was flat.
 I don't know what the eclipse had to do with it, I might have missed something while I was away with the fairies, but it was idea that I did agree with totally, in that I believe that the Earth is a flat disc resting on the back of four large elephants standing on the back of an enormous turtle named Great A'Tuin..(I am a Terry Pratchett fan.)
Anyway, bed  4 who sounded like the type of guy I could share a pint with said, ' that can't be right, if the world was flat then all the cats would knock everything off the edge'
I tried not to laugh because my pain medication wasn't due for a while. It still hurt though. Bed 3 was silent.
I was to find out later that Bed 4 was a bit of a fan of Terry Pratchett too ..we both went into mock mode at bed 3 it whiled  away the time between meals.

[Scrumpy]

Oh to be 'Away with the fairies'.. I could do with some of that.. sounds good..
Mind you.. The talk can be very odd some days in the Co-op..
Especially when Tracey's been in the club the night before..

[dextrous63]

Is there anyone who is au fait with flat earth theory?  In particular why nobody seems to have actually found the perimeter just yet and instead, curiously, end up back where they started when they try?

[klondike]

I must revisit the Pratchett books. There may even be one now that answers the ever pressing question of the sex of the Great A'Tuin.

Isn't there a range of impassable ice mountains around the perimeter of the word? It's only in fictional places like Discworld where the ocean just continually runs over the edge.

[Vlad]

I must revisit the Pratchett books. There may even be one now that answers the ever pressing question of the sex of the Great A'Tuin.

Isn't there a range of impassable ice mountains around the perimeter of the word? It's only in fictional places like Discworld where the ocean just continually runs over the edge.

Ahh, the Great A'Tuin is sexless I think that may be because any sexual congress between two great turtles would not be beneficial to Discworld all that up and down movement ...anyway I think he/she is the only great turtle in the Universe
The mountain range is Ramtops, which are a combination of all the Earths great mountain ranges...don't ya just love google ? 😀

April 10, 2024, 04:30:52 PM

Is there anyone who is au fait with flat earth theory?  In particular why nobody seems to have actually found the perimeter just yet and instead, curiously, end up back where they started when they try?

Don't encourage responses there might be a loon on here that believes that the Earth is Flat 😳

April 10, 2024, 04:31:55 PM

Oh to be 'Away with the fairies'.. I could do with some of that.. sounds good..
Mind you.. The talk can be very odd some days in the Co-op..
Especially when Tracey's be in the club the night before..

Trust me it wasn't...😃

[Vlad]

Conspiracy#2
Never cut your hair.

All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hair is your antennae , they pick up signals from the universe and transmit them to your brain.

This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight and sergeant majors are always yelling at people to cut their hair.

I post this because I was and I am follicley challenged which is why unlike a lot of you I am not one with the conscious universe and miss some of the great poetry from the Vogons . 
Thank you for reading, this has been a learning exercise report from Vlad information Svcs. An Equal opportunities employer.

[Alex]

Try a tin foil hat Vlad, I've heard marvellous reports. 

[Vlad]

But I have a shiny bone dome Alex so I don't get any messages from the conscious universe...but having said that the extra thick tin foil from Asda did stop the voices that told me to sharpen my knives.

[Raven]

I only cut my hair once a year, just to get rid of any split or dead ends. BUT, a few months ago I had a mad turn and cut around 12 inches off. It looks long to some people but to me it's shortish.

[Vlad]

Well thank you for sharing that, those of us who are somewhat folickly challenged find that really interesting...honest...😀

[Raven]

    

[Scrumpy]

But I have a shiny bone dome Alex so I don't get any messages from the conscious universe...but having said that the extra thick tin foil from Asda did stop the voices that told me to sharpen my knives.

It's cling film you need.. Extra wide.. It can be doubled up as a rain hat.. but it's a bugger in the hot sun.. Causes water on the brain..
 Ethel.. two doors down.. still uses a pudding basin.. she swears by it..

[Vlad]

Thanks for the update but I will give it a pass this time, I am currently undergoing a course of treatment which involves the naked breasts of an ample middle aged woman are covered in Vick which is massaged into my skull in order to encourage hair growth.
This is still in its early stages and there has been no growth but I am hopeful, on the plus side I haven't had a cold for ages.

[klondike]

those of us who are somewhat folickly challenged

Like Dex? He seems obsessively jealous of my luxuriant locks.

[Vlad]

Like Dex? He seems obsessively jealous of my luxuriant locks.

Indeed he did mention in some detail about you over abundance of hair 😀