Lets write a Limerick, one line at a time.

[klondike]

She smooched up to poor old Jake
Who certainly wasn't on the make

[Scrumpy]

She smooched up to poor old Jake
Who certainly wasn't on the make
He only popped in to say ' All's good'?
Now suddenly he is stirring her Christmas pud

[klondike]

She smooched up to poor old Jake
Who certainly wasn't on the make
He only popped in to say ' All's good'?
Now suddenly he is stirring her Christmas pud
Now she's offering a tasty steak 

The way to Jake's heart is through his tum

[Scrumpy]

The way to Jake's heart is through his tum
He is XXL , must weigh a ton !!
The spinsters feed him this and that
They have no problem with all his fat
They all just hope to be his 'Mum'

[GrannyMac]

Jake's doesn't want to be anyone's son
He's looking for a girl to be his honeybun

[Scrumpy]

Jake doesn't want to be anyone's  son
He's looking for a girl to be his honeybun
But everything all seems honey 
When big Ethel says 'Come to mummy'
Jake knows for sure that he has won

[Ruthio]

Well I always thought Jake was gay

[klondike]

Well I always thought Jake was gay
Whichever you can bet he'll have to pay

[Mups]

Well I always thought Jake was gay
Whichever you can bet he'll have to pay 
But he changed his mind
Because of what he might find
So made his quick get away. 

*   *   *

The Christmas tree was lit on the green
The prettiest the villagers had seen
Then carols were sung -
But the Vicar trod in some dung
So he left to get his shoes clean.

*   *   *

"What's on TV"  said  big Arnie
As he sat and munched on his sarnie

[klondike]

"What's on TV"  said  big Arnie
As he sat and munched on his sarnie
I sometimes wonder why I pay
'Cause whenever I check it's S.F.A.

[Mups]

"What's on TV"  said  big Arnie
As he sat and munched on his sarnie
I sometimes wonder why I pay
'Cause whenever I check it's S.F.A. 
Like Farage and Kia having a barney!

*  *  *  

I can hear  an Owl  twit-twoo
Can anyone else hear it too?

[Scrumpy]

I can hear an Owl twit-twoo
Can anyone else hear it too ?
No.. Sorry I can't hear a lot
Are you sure it's not your Cuckoo clock !!

[klondike]

I can hear an Owl twit-twoo
Can anyone else hear it too ?
No.. Sorry I can't hear a lot
Are you sure it's not your Cuckoo clock !!
Or maybe it was just a cooo

Mups is there cupping her ear
I doubt there is much to fear

[Mups]

Mups is there cupping her ear
I doubt there is much to fear 
Things sound different at night
And can sometimes give us a fright

[GrannyMac]

Mups is there cupping her ear
I doubt there is much to fear
Things sound different at night
And can sometimes give us a fright
Especially if you've been on the beer 🍺