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Crackers

Started by Ashy, August 19, 2022, 09:57:35 AM

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Ashy

I feel as it's the middle of summer, we should have a thread of Christmas cracker jokes and mottos. I'll start.

What do you call a camel with three humps?

Humphrey

klondike

One snowman asked the other

Can you smell carrots?





Something for voters to ponder. ..
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Ashy

What would you do if you found half a crown?

Look for the other half.

Ashy

When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar. (A jar)

Ashy

What's got six legs and flies?

Three pair of trousers.

Ashy

What goes up the chimney down but not down the chimney up?

An umbrella.

Scrumpy

What was the snowman doing in the vegetable patch.?

Picking his nose.
Don't ask me.. I know nuffink..

Ashy

What did the man say to the shark?

You scratch my back, and I'll scratch jaws.

GrannyMac

What do you call a fish with no eyes?


A fsh
Its not how old you are, but how you are old. 💖

Ashy

#9
What do you call a deaf policeman?

Call him what you like, he can't hear you.

August 20, 2022, 11:29:23 AM
What is the cure for water on the knee?

A tap on the head.

Scrumpy

How will Brexit affect Christmas Dinner. ?

No Brussels.
Don't ask me.. I know nuffink..

Ashy

What did the bra say to the hat?

You go on ahead while I give these two a lift.

Ashy

What's the difference between a lighthouse and a houseboat?

A lighthouse is heavier.

klondike

Bloody hell we usually get Halloween and fireworks before the crackers are on special. Must be putting them on the shelves before the leccy bills come out. Despite the lowered cap they are still double last year.


Something for voters to ponder. ..
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Ashy

#14
You may wish to stockpile them.

September 10, 2022, 11:32:18 AM
What's the difference between St. George and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?

One slays a dragon, the other one drags a sleigh.