Crackers

klondike · September 10, 2022, 11:56:44 AM

I can't. The house is still full of toilet paper.

Scrumpy · September 10, 2022, 12:07:29 PM

What do Priest and Christmas trees have in common. ?

Their balls are just ornamental.

Ashy · September 17, 2022, 01:04:52 PM

What has two legs and flies?

A wino.

Ashy · September 30, 2022, 08:49:39 AM

I used to punch cattle until they started punching back.

klondike · September 30, 2022, 09:27:05 AM

A cowpoke? I wondered where that term came from.

Ashy · September 30, 2022, 09:35:18 AM

Maybe from an udder place.

Ashy · October 05, 2022, 10:24:32 AM

What's brown and runny?

Usain Bolt

Scrumpy · October 05, 2022, 12:01:09 PM

What do Santa's little helpers learn at school. ?

The Elf-abet.

Ashy · October 08, 2022, 12:09:28 PM

What did the clock say to the photograph?

Tick tock

Ashy · October 09, 2022, 11:30:33 AM

"Hello! Hello! Can I speak with your wife?"

"I'm sorry, she's abroad"

"I know that! Put her on..."

Alex · October 09, 2022, 01:05:44 PM

What's at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?

A nervous wreck!

Michael Rolls · October 09, 2022, 01:11:53 PM

what goes 98, 99, bonk?

A centipede with a wooden leg

Ashy · October 09, 2022, 01:53:27 PM

What does Santa do if he gets stuck in a shop chimney?

Waits for a fall in the market.

Ashy · October 28, 2022, 01:47:46 PM

Chinese proverb:

There are no flies on man who douses himself in Flit.

Ashy · November 11, 2022, 04:31:22 PM

Man in the pub asked if I am a comedian.

I said "That's a funny thing to ask".