Modernising the Classics

[dextrous63]

Think it's time we reviewed the old classics and update them so they are "current".

Here's my opening gambit.
Feel free to add your own...

And do those feet in modern time
Walk upon England's mountain green?
And is the holy Prophet of Allah
On England's pleasant ghetto's seen?
And did the countenance divine
Shine forth upon our littered hills?
And was Mecca builded here
Among those dark satanic mosques?

Bring me my pot of the UK's gold!
Bring me my arrows of desire!
Bring me my knives! O hijab, unfold!
Bring me my Toyota Yaris of fire!
I will not cease from mental fight,
Nor shall my machete sleep in my hand,
Till we have built a new Arabia
In England's brown and unpleasant land.

[Diasi]

 That sums it up very well.

[dextrous63]

My Imam said go to Londonistan
And don't press the  detonator on the way.....

[klondike]

Oddly I started to play with that when we were talking about the Last Night of the Proms. I never got far with it and nothing close to that worthy rewrite.  

I did keep it in its unrefined form. I see some similarities...

And did those feet in ancient time
Walk on Saudi dunes of old?
And was the holy Lamb of God
On Saudi's pleasant deserts gold?
And did the countenance divine
Shine forth upon our sunny roads?
And was Mecca builded here
By those dark satanic rouges?
Bring me my bow of burning gold!
Bring me my arrows of desire!
Bring me my spear! O clouds, unfold!
Bring me my chariot of fire!
I will not cease from mental fight,
Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand,
Till we have rebuilt Mecca
In England's brown and knackered land.

[dextrous63]

You spent way more time developing your version. 😊👍


I've got a rough idea regarding Clementine and how a minor was a concubine for a 49 year old man in Rotherham.

Perhaps someone else would like to develop it ?  😊

October 05, 2023, 08:54:21 AM
In the meantime, I put this one on PF and forgot to copy it on here....

Rod Stewart's classic...

Sailing Lyrics

I am sailing, I am sailing
To a new home, illegally
I am sailing stormy waters
To be near you, to be free

Etc etc etc

[Diasi]

Rod Stewart's classic...

Sailing Lyrics

I am sailing, I am sailing
To a new home, illegally
I am sailing stormy waters
To be near you, to be free

Etc etc etc

Or 'To be near you, as all I get is free'

[klondike]

My son was teaching himself guitar and we got sailing constantly. He started on a different one and I started to sing Sailing. I don't think he has forgiven me yet over 30 years later.

[dextrous63]

😬😬😬😬

[JBR]

Some excellent ideas there.  How correct (or perhaps 'incorrect' to some) and an accurate portrayal of broken Britain, the first third world western European country!

[dextrous63]

Allah save our gracious Mullah!
Long live our noble Mullah!
Allah save our Mullah.
Send him victorious
Happy and glorious
Long may he reign over us
Allah save the Mullah.

Can't be bothered to write the second verse, apart from mentioning the important line about him defending Sharia law.

[dextrous63]

I'll let someone else ponder how to update this little beauty:

There'll always be an England,
And England shall be free
If England means as much to you
As England means to me.

[JBR]

I'll let someone else ponder how to update this little beauty:

There'll always be an England,
And England shall be free
If England means as much to you
As England means to me.

There'll always be an Englandistan
And Englandistan shall be free for us
If Englandistan means as much to you
Come and bring all your mates to me.

Yes, I know it doesn't quite scan well.  Perhaps it would in urdu.

[dextrous63]

😬😬😬

I shall use a translation app to see if they start singing it from the top of those Mosques.

[dextrous63]

Pack up your roubles in your old kit bag
And sail, sail, sail
Don't let the girls being underage be a snag
Sail boys, that's the style
What's the use of worrying
It never was worth while
So, pack up your roubles in your old kit bag
And sail, sail, sail

[dextrous63]

Frère Jacques, 
Frère Jacques
Where's Calais? 
Where's Calais?
Gotta get a boat soon, 
Gotta get afloat soon,
So goodbye, 
So goodbye.