My brother -in-law's funeral is on the 12th October..
He was a good age and had a full life..
He was one of 12 siblings.. !!
It will be a right old 'do' .. They seem to say their piece at funerals .. Especially the women.. Half of them have fallen out .. It will be tears at the service and 'words' at the 'do'..
:nooo:
Funerals. Second only to marriages for dividing families.
Should be interesting.. A bit like a comedy sketch..
When you go, look out to see if there's a defibrillator somewhere. It tends to amuse me and I reflect that it's probably a bit late for that now😉
On a related theme, there's a crem/cemetery which I've been to a few times over the last few years which has a retirement home nearby with a prominent ad outside stating "short lets available". This always tickles me😬🤭
subtle!
Quote from: dextrous63 on September 27, 2023, 11:08:02 PMWhen you go, look out to see if there's a defibrillator somewhere. It tends to amuse me and I reflect that it's probably a bit late for that now😉
On a related theme, there's a crem/cemetery which I've been to a few times over the last few years which has a retirement home nearby with a prominent ad outside stating "short lets available". This always tickles me😬🤭
The home my mum was in was close to the Crem in our home town. My parents-in-law are buried in a cemetery that has older people's flats by the entrance! Timely reminders. 😉
Quite!! It's only a matter of time before someone builds retirement flats/care homes & hospices in an elevated building with the crem/memorial garden/cemetery on the ground/basement floor. A bit like car parts under shipping centres or supermarkets. It'd be very handy in terms of having laundry chutes to "throw out your dead" into, and probably more environmentally friendly.
But I digress into a world of fantasy 🫣🫢
Fantasy for now but burials could take a lot of land and crematoria use a lot of power. Think of the planet.
My brother-in-law 89, who's funeral it is, had just found himself a woman friend.. They met up on a coach trip and decided to go on more trips together.. He was so excited.. It wasn't the excitement that killed him.. He fell getting out of bed.. She wasn't in it at the time..
That's what she is saying anyway. I read years back that lots of men die on the job. :rolleyes:
We've told our children that we want direct cremation. The children are scattered round the country so we think that is best and they can meet up when they want.
Our neighbour has already paid for hers.
There's the old joke about it taking 3 weeks before they could get the coffin lid to stay in place.😬
September 28, 2023, 11:43:04 AMQuote from: Sheila on September 28, 2023, 11:40:00 AMWe've told our children that we want direct cremation. The children are scattered round the country so we think that is best and they can meet up when they want.
Our neighbour has already paid for hers.
That's what I want. Keep it simple and cheap, and spend the money on a holiday or a knees up in my honour.
Quote from: dextrous63 on September 28, 2023, 11:41:59 AMThere's the old joke about it taking 3 weeks before they could get the coffin lid to stay in place.😬
September 28, 2023, 11:43:04 AMThat's what I want. Keep it simple and cheap, and spend the money on a holiday or a knees up in my honour.
Completely my way of thinking too. I arranged for a cadaver collection, cremation and return of ashes a few months back. Then a party with outside caterers etc on my next door neighbours Tug, with the ashes spread on the Lake at sunset ...
Quote from: Cassandra on September 28, 2023, 01:27:17 PMCompletely my way of thinking too. I arranged for a cadaver collection, cremation and return of ashes a few months back. Then a party with outside caterers etc on my next door neighbours Tug, with the ashes spread on the Lake at sunset ...
That sounds great Cass, I bet you wish you could be there ! :grin:
Quote from: Scrumpy on September 28, 2023, 09:20:44 AMMy brother-in-law 89, who's funeral it is, had just found himself a woman friend.. They met up on a coach trip and decided to go on more trips together.. He was so excited.. It wasn't the excitement that killed him.. He fell getting out of bed.. She wasn't in it at the time..
She'll be after his house! (I'm channeling Brian here. 😄)
They had a Barney a few weeks back and she hasn't been seen since..
Can you imagine it !! Two old pensioners having a scrap..!!
:nooo:
One of the saddest things I've witnessed was at a funeral for the husband of a woman with dementia. She kept looking round and asked where her husband was, and later at the wake asked me to get a plate of food from the buffet for her husband as he'd be back in a minute😢
so sad
That's dreadful, her still thinking that she has a husband & probably wondering why he's never around.
She has died since then. But it must have been a very strange experience for her.
The last year of my mother's life was awful for us as well as herself, she didn't know who any of us were and kept wanting her own mother, it was heartbreaking, she seemed to be living in her own childhood. :cry:
Sounds awful Raven.
My mother had fairly lucid spells for the last year of her life and then reverted to speaking Welsh for the last few weeks and phoning people in the middle of the night. When she was eventually taken into hospital towards the very end, she woke up from an afternoon nap, looked out of the window and said "What a lovely day. Oh. I'm dying". Then closed her eyes and left.
Quote from: dextrous63 on September 29, 2023, 11:39:29 AMSounds awful Raven.
My mother had fairly lucid spells for the last year of her life and then reverted to speaking Welsh for the last few weeks and phoning people in the middle of the night. When she was eventually taken into hospital towards the very end, she woke up from an afternoon nap, looked out of the window and said "What a lovely day. Oh. I'm dying". Then closed her eyes and left.
Oh Blimey. :shocked:
I can't think of anything worse than dementia.
I would hate to go with no memories of my wife & our furry ones, but I suppose if I'd forgotten them I wouldn't know I'd forgotten them.
Unless dementia is like when you can't remember the word you're looking for but you know there is that word only instead of a word it's people.
How utterly frustrating & upsetting that must be.
I fear dementia much more than cancer.
Dementia is cruel.. It takes away who were ... and leaves you being a stranger , even to yourself..
Anyone fancy talking about living wills or assisted suicides?
Not offended if you don't think this is the right thread for it.
Quote from: dextrous63 on September 29, 2023, 12:43:30 PMAnyone fancy talking about living wills or assisted suicides?
Not offended if you don't think this is the right thread for it.
I'm thinking of drafting a set of my wishes for after I've gone.
Practical things like what I want doing with all our ashes etc.
Have you got someone to take on your animals Phil ? I think that's all I'd be worried about, my ashes can go in the garden ! :smiley:
Quote from: Alex on September 29, 2023, 12:13:23 PMI fear dementia much more than cancer.
I think thats the same for many of us. OH and I have talked about illness and possible decline, mental and physical. He has a real dread of needing care, and would be in favour of a Dignitas type of option here. I think I'd cope better, but it's not something I look forward to. Within the group I exercise with, two women have lost their husbands recently, one older with multiple health issues, that was half expected, but one in his very early 70s, very suddenly.
I try to take nothing for granted, and value my reasonably good health, but I'm aware that could change in a moment. I think living wills would be an OK topic for discussion dextrous.
And Alex is right Phil about your pets. With regards to ashes, my daughter has suggested a rocket of the firework kind!
I took Sam's ashes up the park.. It is just up the road and he walked there most days..
I took the lid off the pot and tossed the contents into the air.. They came back at me.. covered my hair and face..
I walked home.. with Sam all over me and in my mouth..
I had a shower.. So, part of Sam went down the plug hole..
He would have been amused..
Lovely story 🤭
Quote from: Alex on September 29, 2023, 12:13:23 PMI fear dementia much more than cancer.
Me too, I have a friend in the UK, who was brilliant QC in his day. I went to say farewell prior to emigration. He was sat in the kitchen, busily talking to his new friend in the Microwave (his reflection).
I had to stop driving back twice, to gather myself together from the waves of sorrow that were engulfing me ...
What are we but our minds? If that has gone what is there left? Horrible disease with no cure. Probably crueller for friends and family than the sufferer although some can become very distressed.
That "no cure" is why there is no free care provided. NHS in this instance means No Health Service.
Oh dear!!! That is so incredibly sad... Life can be so cruel..
Quote from: Cassandra on September 29, 2023, 05:41:52 PMMe too, I have a friend in the UK, who was brilliant QC in his day. I went to say farewell prior to emigration. He was sat in the kitchen, busily talking to his new friend in the Microwave (his reflection).
I had to stop driving back twice, to gather myself together from the waves of sorrow that were engulfing me ...
Quote from: Alex on September 29, 2023, 12:57:44 PMHave you got someone to take on your animals Phil ? I think that's all I'd be worried about, my ashes can go in the garden ! :smiley:
Unless something sudden happens to me & a miracle happens to our Yorkie, it'll be whichever of the cats are still alive when I pop off, they're all 11 years old & siblings.
I do worry about it & I have got arrangements in place for the cattery, where we take one of them for grooming, to take them in case of a medical emergency.
I'll have to discuss options with them for if any of the cats outlive me, which I suppose is a real possibility.
have to say that I am beginning to really worry about the future. My driving licence will expire in two years, when I am 88. If I am still here, will I renew it? Living where I do a car is essential and above all I do not want to move - all me memories are locked up in here and a move would mean junking so many of them. Mum died very suddenly - cerebral hematoma - my late sister lived with her, went to work one morning, came home to find mum dead in her chair. If that happened to me - would anyone find me? My sister-in-law and I exchange texts every morning, but suppose I outlive her?
Michael... Keep your car for as long as you can.. It is your lifeline.. your escape..
Don't be worrying yourself over whether you will outlive your sister.. It can take over your life..
Go and have a drink.. cheers !!!
Quote from: Michael Rolls on September 29, 2023, 06:00:21 PMhave to say that I am beginning to really worry about the future. My driving licence will expire in two years, when I am 88. If I am still here, will I renew it? Living where I do a car is essential and above all I do not want to move - all me memories are locked up in here and a move would mean junking so many of them. Mum died very suddenly - cerebral hematoma - my late sister lived with her, went to work one morning, came home to find mum dead in her chair. If that happened to me - would anyone find me? My sister-in-law and I exchange texts every morning, but suppose I outlive her?
Please do all you can to keep your car & your independence, to me giving up my car would be the start of all of me giving up.
As for no one finding you, I could well be in the same position which is why I have several people that I text as soon as I get up in the morning.
They have the number for a neighbour who they'd alert if I didn't either send a text or reply to a text. did
I'm sure any one or two or three of us on here would love to do it for you.
My texts just consist of Good Morning & nothing else & I get a Good Morning acknowledgement from each of them or they would send a text if I hadn't.
I say texts but actually they're WhatsApp messages.
Well, this thread is turning into a right old bundle of laughs😳
Let's have a little break and go for a singalong...altogether now!
🎶Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag
And smile, smile, smile
While you've a Lucifer to light your fag
Smile boys, that's the style
What's the use of worrying
It never was worthwhile
So pack up your troubles in your old kit bag
And smile, smile, smile🎶
:upvote: :grin:
... and it started out so cheerful too :grin:
Think I'll watch Queen Elizabeth's funeral on catchup. Wonder if they've managed to edit Huw out of it all😬
When I go I want my ashes scattered on wee Strathy Cove. I spend a lot of time there, it's my "go to place" when I need to calm myself and recharge. There's a big rock I sit on and just watch the big waves crashing in.
This pic was taken from the bench half way up the track to the car park, I'm always glad to reach it and sit for a few moments to get my breath back.
Dageus's ashes will be scatted with mine at the same time and we can stay together at our favourite place.
(https://i.postimg.cc/MpN5gphc/IMG-20230929-173737.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/4Yvp9s4Z)
(https://i.postimg.cc/j2tZv3BZ/FB-IMG-1696003423549.jpg) (https://postimages.org/)
How did you break the news to Dageus that when you peg out, his lifespan will be dramatically reduced? 😬😳
It won't be, whoever goes first will have their ashes kept untill the time when we will both go together.
Actually, joking apart, that's a really nice idea. 😊👍
Quote from: Scrumpy on September 29, 2023, 06:56:13 PMMichael... Keep your car for as long as you can.. It is your lifeline.. your escape..
Don't be worrying yourself over whether you will outlive your sister.. It can take over your life..
Go and have a drink.. cheers !!!
Quote from: Scrumpy on September 29, 2023, 06:56:13 PMMichael... Keep your car for as long as you can.. It is your lifeline.. your escape..
Don't be worrying yourself over whether you will outlive your sister.. It can take over your life..
Go and have a drink.. cheers !!!
What a good idea - cheers!
Quote from: Scrumpy on September 29, 2023, 06:56:13 PMMichael... Keep your car for as long as you can.. It is your lifeline.. your escape..
Don't be worrying yourself over whether you will outlive your sister.. It can take over your life..
Go and have a drink.. cheers !!!
My feelings exactly. My father drove right up till his death, he did switch from a large car to a 'Smartcar' a full decade before his passing, which he loved and wished he'd done so many years before. The parking dimensions are so convenient and it has lots of space for a single shopper and excellent vision, it was also very easy to access. I kept it right up until I moved here and really enjoyed driving it. However he lived in the Barbican, in the City of London and utilised the tube a lot as well. When visiting the Home counties I remember him rolling up to many events in it, especially during strikes on the tube and rail. He found the utility of personal transportation became very important. Also there was no road tax, 70 to the gallon and miniscule insurance premiums. Today there would be no ULEZ charges either. He had a 'Blue Badge' - have you one Mike? If not apply for one, its worth a try if you have limited mobility.
He also had one of those 'cellular' wrist worn bracelets connected to a centre and I was the advisory to be called in the event of need by any incident. His one went off if his heart rate changed dramatically, of his BP changed likewise. Perhaps you could try one?
Anyway keep on, if for nothing else to annoy the wretched politicians and their green garbage. :wink:
Quote from: Scrumpy on September 29, 2023, 02:39:57 PMI walked home.. with Sam all over me and in my mouth..
I was on the verge of one of my tasteless replies but I've thought better of it.
:nooo: :bandaged: :nooo: :bandaged:
Now why doesn't that surprise me.!!
don't have a Blue card - remembering the hoops needed to get one for Veronica, I doubt I would qualify
Quote from: Michael Rolls on September 30, 2023, 09:12:25 PMdon't have a Blue card - remembering the hoops needed to get one for Veronica, I doubt I would qualify
Am trying to get one for my ailing 90 year old MIL. Talk about jumping through hoops!!
Meanwhile, most disability parking spots remain unused which makes one wonder why they want to make it so hard to get a blue badge!?!
Quote from: Michael Rolls on September 30, 2023, 09:12:25 PMdon't have a Blue card - remembering the hoops needed to get one for Veronica, I doubt I would qualify
You'd be surprised these days, just get a form (print it off online) and have a go, it can save you a fortune, your age and how remote you are etc etc. Give it a go. bet you get one.
Am applying online, on behalf of.
Basically seems ok apart from wanting some documents that will take a bit of time to get hold of.
I'm constantly amazed how, in this day and age of technology, these things aren't already linked via appropriate databases which should make life considerably easier.
Quote from: dextrous63 on September 30, 2023, 09:16:20 PMAm trying to get one for my ailing 90 year old MIL. Talk about jumping through hoops!!
Meanwhile, most disability parking spots remain unused which makes one wonder why they want to make it so hard to get a blue badge!?!
I got one here Dex within 10 days, but I think the Yanks are far more respectful to older folk.
Gen Z in England appear to be very anti Pensioners it seems from what I pick up via the media.
I once took my ex local authority to court re a fragrant breach of my Blue Badge rights. I ended up against a very poor advocate from the Council, who was clearly unprepared in every respect including seeming to be deaf. After just ten minutes the judge caused a wind up and found in my favour. I received considerable damages, which I promptly and publicly passed to an association who specialise in supporting pensioners likewise prosecuted by zealots from private parking firms who administer these frightful practices.
It no doubt does indeed help if one is an experienced legal advocate Cass. The poor council fella was probably scared stiff when he realised he'd come up against a proper professional🤣🤣
In the meantime, I'm trying to see if my MIL can remember where she has stored certain documents such as her marriage certificate or old passport as proof of ID. She has no idea what her NI number is and pointed me in the direction of a brown envelope which she thought would have it written in there. Sadly not as it contained some kind of medical card from the 1970's.
In addition to this, I have emailed her GP (who is a lovely fella who said he'd support her application) since the council wants a copy of the letter that explains her degenerative condition which he will have to write, so they can ask him if he agrees with his own diagnosis at some stage and at their leisure.
As said, it's a mystery why all this is necessary as it's all available somewhere already. One would think that a click of a button would facilitate the whole application process automatically.
She is old, increasingly frail and quite probably in the final few weeks of her life. She fell over a month ago and fractured a bone in her spine. Having access to barrier free parking spots would be useful.
From memory, he was uselessly arrogant and apparently thought an old codger like me was a walk-over. Fancied himself as Perry Mason I felt. I think he was actually a passed over conveyancer, from what my 'ears' inside the metropolis told me. He broke down very quickly after a few 'wind-ups' and started taking it personally, which was most unwise - but of course most useful.
Did you get a friend's rate from him when you sold your house😬
Quote from: dextrous63 on October 01, 2023, 08:00:03 PMDid you get a friend's rate from him when you sold your house😬
I don't think he would have accepted the 'brief' somehow. :wink: Actually I had local firm do it, (Conveyancers, not solicitors). Over here I had a very efficient firm recc'd by the auctioneers, who were faultless and sent a bottle of bubbly the day I moved in - nice touch!