Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner. He lives with a female roommate, Maria.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Anthony's roommate is.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, Anthony volunteered,
"I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates.''
About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying,
"Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote an email:
Dear Mama,
I'm not saying that you "did" take the sugar bowl from my house; I'm not saying that you "did not" take it.
But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Your Loving Son,
Anthony
A few days later, Anthony received a response email from his Mama which read:
Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Maria, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with her.
But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.
Your Loving Mama

Val joined a dating site, she was looking for a man
Better still, she thought to herself, a man with a van
They could pack up together travel far and wide
A nice clear windscreen and her love by her side
Sadly his wife arrived and the shit then hit the fan

Chastened by this sad affair Val became a nun
Unaware til later her oven held a bun

Wordle 1,065 5/6

⬜🟨⬜⬜⬜
⬜⬜⬜🟨⬜
🟨🟨⬜⬜⬜
🟨🟨🟨🟨⬜
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Daily Quordle 846
7️⃣8️⃣
6️⃣4️⃣
m-w.com/games/quordle/
⬜⬜⬜🟨🟩 🟨⬜⬜⬜🟨
⬜⬜🟨🟨⬜ ⬜🟨⬜⬜⬜
⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜🟨🟨⬜⬜
⬜⬜🟨⬜🟩 🟨🟨⬜⬜🟨
⬜🟨⬜🟩⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜
⬜🟩🟨🟩🟩 ⬜⬜⬜⬜🟨
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬜⬜⬜⬜🟨
⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

⬜⬜⬜🟨🟩 🟩⬜⬜⬜🟩
⬜⬜🟩⬜⬜ ⬜⬜🟩⬜⬜
⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜🟨⬜⬜
⬜⬜🟩⬜🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
⬜🟨⬜🟩⬜ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛

Daily Octordle #846
5️⃣4️⃣
🕛🕚
7️⃣8️⃣
9️⃣🔟
Score: 66

Daily Sequence Octordle #846
4️⃣5️⃣
6️⃣7️⃣
🔟🕚
🕐⓮
Score: 70

Daily Rescue Octordle #846
🟥🕐
5️⃣6️⃣
🟥8️⃣
🕚7️⃣
Score: 6   stupid stupid stupid

Be sure to look after your wells!

"One year in the Presbyterians times during the civil wars, they neglected the annual  dressing of the salt-well in Driotwich - and the spring became dry, to the great loss of the town.  So thereafter they revived their annual custom (notwithstanding the power of the parliament) and ever since, volens nolens the Minister there ( and also the soldiers) they did and will Dress it, and the salt water returned again and still continues."

c1688

(volens nolens = Latin = willing/unwilling)

Quote from: Alex on May 17, 2024, 01:12:25 PMNext stop was Hawe, where my friend and I had the best fish & chips we'd tasted in a long time. Mooched around the 'town' a bit but didn't make it as far as the Wensleydale Creamery which was a bit of a hike.

You mean Hawes (as opposed to Whores)!

Today at 10:35:44 AM

Quote from: Scrumpy on Yesterday at 08:45:49 AMThe buildings look dull because of the stone that is used.. 

Limestone?
It's nice and bright, well, except for buildings in places like Bradford where Industrial Age smoke has turned them black!

I use an App called "aurora watch uk" it's very good and it's nearly always right. It's been sending me a lot of alerts lately.

I tip if the service has been good and delivered with a smile.  Though I never carry cash, apart from a couple of notes, but I'm not throwing them away!  I'll add a tip on to the credit card bill, though.

Nice morning here, I'm off over to Liverpool later. Lunch, footie and a sing-a-long

I don't always tip, but then I don't visit top establishments where I imagine if you can afford to eat there, you can afford a tip.  a general observation Scrumps !! Although it should be voluntary.

I tend to tip in cafes though, particularly if it's a young person serving and they're pleasant.  I no longer tip at the hairdressers, it's expensive enough.

Do you tip ? .. 
 Very little cash is carried today.. mostly payment is made by card..
So, when you have had good service, how do you tip.?
 
Some places include a tip in the bill.. Cheeky buggers.. This can mean that the person you would like to tip seldom knows about it.. 

Perhaps it is becoming a thing of the past and people accept that there is a service charge added to the bill..
 I was presented with my bill in one of the top establishments in London..
It stated , at the bottom of the bill, that x amount of money was added to give to a certain charity..  I asked them to remove it..   
I will give to charity when I decide to..