A Message for Xmas to all Boat People ...

[Cassandra]

A Xmas message of hope and good will for all men landing in the UK - via the way of the pump up boat.

Lets consider tonight you are on  a cold and windy sea twixt England and the a realm of mutants called the EU. You've just dumped everything about your life to date into the briny as instructed, your soaking wet, freezing and nearing the end of human duration (firstly you don't yet even have a Smartphone).  Suddenly a beam of startling light pierces the night and rests it protective warmth upon your particular lilo, just in time for the spluttering 3hp outboard to be dumped off the end

"All aboard"  calls the welcoming voice via the tannoy. "Welcome to Pathway England from the RNLI sponsored reception craft, "Mugsaway".

Striking out towards your beloved rescuer, somehow the life-sapping water doesn't matter any more. Soon you'll be snugly ensconced in a warm bed within your four star hotel, with a new phone charging up next to you. But in the morning the dream really starts to expand, beyond realms you never dreamt possible. You awake to breakfast in bed, the piping hot tea delivered to you in a bone china cup, via a silver service, (which you can later nick and sell in the local market).

You are troubled that amidst all this luxury, your elderly relatives are starving by the thousand in their cardboard boxes back home in the desert. But have faith dear brother, just as the angel from Care4Calais explained, before you struck out for profit - you have nothing to worry about. Lots of kind help is just waiting to find it's way into all your wallets.

Theres a land, just a bus ride away from where your tucking in called Scotland, where a noble King known as 'Yusuf', reigns. He pays for all your old timers and hangers on to have nice homes along with full medical care (including a vanishing magic called dentistry) Then the great 'Yusuf' with a powerful magic called 'devolvement' makes his auld enemy the wicked realm of England, ruled by a wet dishrag called Fishy Sunk to cough up!

So recalling what the 'Angels' from 'Care4Calais' and others have said, remember clearly the way to go and dump, place all your dependents in Scotland and then 'leg it' yourself back to England.  Here a richer class of criminal awaits to introduce you into the expanding market of multi drug cultivation. Warmly ensconced in an ex council house, by a gang master, you can earn at least a whole British pound every two hours, plus a free bed on the floor, taking care of the blessed plants and ensuring a rich harvest. Free comestibles are available by yet another miracle in this land of munificence called the 'Food Bank' a few streets away - yummy, yummy.

In this land of the idiot (England), a new ruler will soon replace the one known as Fishy Sunk, this new leader is called Starmer (this among other names you will hear spoken, such as punk and far worse etc). But don't worry brothers, he's an even bigger Smuck than Sunk (surely not Ed) and will gladly help you as a band of brothers on your eventual path towards inevitable domination of everything, everywhere, with no strings attached. Don't ask how this happens? oh dear no, no, because no one knows about anything anymore in the land of Sunk.

So good night Children everywhere and let the true Prophet Profit of Xmas shine down, even if you don't know what Xmas is, just say thank you for providing it, all of it.

[Ashy]

  Starmer, that's one of his names anyway.

[dextrous63]

Excellent

😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

[klondike]

Just hop boat and come to stay. 
Don't worry lads for we will pay

[JBR]

An excellent and very accurate description, Cassandra.
Despite all our worries about the coming years here, I wish you all a very happy Christmas, and let's hope that, by some miracle, things somehow improve in the coming years.

[Michael Rolls]

                    

[dextrous63]

Without wishing to detract from the outstanding opening post, it just occurred to me that if the RNLI craft covered their emblem with Societe Nationale de Sauvetage en Mer  and welcomed the boats in French, maybe the illegals would think they're heading in the wrong direction, turn round and head back towards the French coast?

[klondike]

Lorry drivers get fined for bringing in illegals. Just sayin'

[dextrous63]

Lorry drivers get fined for bringing in illegals. Just sayin'

Maybe they ought to be given a bonus for taking them out.

[JBR]

Without wishing to detract from the outstanding opening post, it just occurred to me that if the RNLI craft covered their emblem with Societe Nationale de Sauvetage en Mer  and welcomed the boats in French, maybe the illegals would think they're heading in the wrong direction, turn round and head back towards the French coast?

Excellent idea!

December 25, 2023, 10:30:43 AM

Lorry drivers get fined for bringing in illegals. Just sayin'

Well, I suppose they have to pay for their hotels somehow.

[Alex]

Good one Cass 

[Cassandra]

Without wishing to detract from the outstanding opening post, it just occurred to me that if the RNLI craft covered their emblem with Societe Nationale de Sauvetage en Mer  and welcomed the boats in French, maybe the illegals would think they're heading in the wrong direction, turn round and head back towards the French coast?

Thank you, I must say it's an illuminating consideration Dex ! Perhaps Mr Spielberg could provide a 'fog belt' say a mile square with lots of hoots sounding out within it via 'float speakers', just to add to the confusion. Then the 'faux' British life boats emerge and tow them back the 12.1 miles to Calais. Large magnates in the 'Faux navire de sauvetage' could offset any compasses the illegals might be carrying, along with mobile phone 'blockers' as most of them would still have these, ready to dump in La Manche and could/would carry Sat Nav apps on these. 

The gangs and their comrades in arms (the froggy borders countrol agency) would soon rumble this however so a possible follow up could be to launch 'SBS' frogmen from their own fast-boat escorts armed with machete's to slash the dinghies up from beneath and then withdraw. Afterwards an appearance of 'Hollywood's' 'Jaws', or a couple of Giant Squids amongst the swimmers might put a dent in the smugglers 'business plan'?

Of course the 'do-gooder, Guardian buyers' would yell blue murder. Still overall when you think on, its no worse a con than supposedly voting for what you thought were the 'Torys' in 2019 ...

[klondike]

So little imagination has been employed by our  politicians to this issue. It surely only requires a little lateral thinking to come up with a solution pleasing to all. Lets consider what we know.

There are numbers of people keen to welcome thse folk. We know this because we see them with their banners..



There are others not so keen who don't want to fund them.

There is a constant stream of new arrivals.

We already have working models of self funding Rescue Centres and Sanctuaries.

We do need to build a bit of infrastructure but after that is set up it can all be self financing.

Typically those who wish can "adopt" a migrant and pay towards their keep. They can go visit "their" migrant any time they wish for petting sessions or whatever. Others may wish to go further and provide a "forever home" for their very own migrant. Obviously they would need to make a contribution towards the cost of worming, de-lousing, vaccinating etc. before being allowed to take their migrant home but we know that will cause no problems as these folk are so keen that they regularly go out waving their welcome banners that a small outlay of a few thousands will be no problem at all. The scheme may even show a small profit.

[JBR]

The gangs and their comrades in arms (the froggy borders countrol agency) would soon rumble this however so a possible follow up could be to launch 'SBS' frogmen from their own fast-boat escorts armed with machete's to slash the dinghies up from beneath and then withdraw. Afterwards an appearance of 'Hollywood's' 'Jaws', or a couple of Giant Squids amongst the swimmers might put a dent in the smugglers 'business plan'?

Oh, that's an absolutely inhuman thought, Cass.
I just hope that someone in authority might consider it before things become beyond restoration.

December 27, 2023, 02:47:39 PM

Typically those who wish can "adopt" a migrant and pay towards their keep. They can go visit "their" migrant any time they wish for petting sessions or whatever. Others may wish to go further and provide a "forever home" for their very own migrant. Obviously they would need to make a contribution towards the cost of worming, de-lousing, vaccinating etc. before being allowed to take their migrant home but we know that will cause no problems as these folk are so keen that they regularly go out waving their welcome banners that a small outlay of a few thousands will be no problem at all. The scheme may even show a small profit.

In attempting to politely criticise these 'protesters', I should say that they are rather misguided.
I often wonder whether any of them have actually taken in an illegal immigrant and offered them a 'forever home'.

[Alex]

Ricky Gervais' thoughts.....

https://twitter.com/i/status/1739671320785289551