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Main boards => General Discussion => Topic started by: dextrous63 on October 05, 2023, 05:06:55 AM

Title: Modernising the Classics
Post by: dextrous63 on October 05, 2023, 05:06:55 AM
Think it's time we reviewed the old classics and update them so they are "current".

Here's my opening gambit.
Feel free to add your own...
QuoteAnd do those feet in modern time
Walk upon England's mountain green?
And is the holy Prophet of Allah
On England's pleasant ghetto's seen?
And did the countenance divine
Shine forth upon our littered hills?
And was Mecca builded here
Among those dark satanic mosques?

Bring me my pot of the UK's gold!
Bring me my arrows of desire!
Bring me my knives! O hijab, unfold!
Bring me my Toyota Yaris of fire!
I will not cease from mental fight,
Nor shall my machete sleep in my hand,
Till we have built a new Arabia
In England's brown and unpleasant land.
Title: Re: Modernising the Classics
Post by: Diasi on October 05, 2023, 07:24:22 AM
:upvote: That sums it up very well.
Title: Re: Modernising the Classics
Post by: dextrous63 on October 05, 2023, 07:57:21 AM
My Imam said go to Londonistan
And don't press the  detonator on the way.....
Title: Re: Modernising the Classics
Post by: klondike on October 05, 2023, 08:14:36 AM
Oddly I started to play with that when we were talking about the Last Night of the Proms. I never got far with it and nothing close to that worthy rewrite.   :upvote: :upvote: :upvote:

I did keep it in its unrefined form. I see some similarities...

And did those feet in ancient time
Walk on Saudi dunes of old?
And was the holy Lamb of God
On Saudi's pleasant deserts gold?
And did the countenance divine
Shine forth upon our sunny roads?
And was Mecca builded here
By those dark satanic rouges?
Bring me my bow of burning gold!
Bring me my arrows of desire!
Bring me my spear! O clouds, unfold!
Bring me my chariot of fire!
I will not cease from mental fight,
Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand,
Till we have rebuilt Mecca
In England's brown and knackered land.
Title: Re: Modernising the Classics
Post by: dextrous63 on October 05, 2023, 08:50:11 AM
You spent way more time developing your version. 😊👍


I've got a rough idea regarding Clementine and how a minor was a concubine for a 49 year old man in Rotherham.

Perhaps someone else would like to develop it ?  😊

October 05, 2023, 08:54:21 AM
In the meantime, I put this one on PF and forgot to copy it on here....

Rod Stewart's classic...

Sailing Lyrics

I am sailing, I am sailing
To a new home, illegally
I am sailing stormy waters
To be near you, to be free

Etc etc etc
Title: Re: Modernising the Classics
Post by: Diasi on October 05, 2023, 09:55:46 AM
Quote from: dextrous63 on October 05, 2023, 08:50:11 AMRod Stewart's classic...

Sailing Lyrics

I am sailing, I am sailing
To a new home, illegally
I am sailing stormy waters
To be near you, to be free

Etc etc etc
Or 'To be near you, as all I get is free'
Title: Re: Modernising the Classics
Post by: klondike on October 05, 2023, 09:57:50 AM
My son was teaching himself guitar and we got sailing constantly. He started on a different one and I started to sing Sailing. I don't think he has forgiven me yet over 30 years later.
Title: Re: Modernising the Classics
Post by: dextrous63 on October 05, 2023, 10:37:40 AM
😬😬😬😬
Title: Re: Modernising the Classics
Post by: JBR on October 05, 2023, 12:29:48 PM
Some excellent ideas there.  How correct (or perhaps 'incorrect' to some) and an accurate portrayal of broken Britain, the first third world western European country!
Title: Re: Modernising the Classics
Post by: dextrous63 on October 05, 2023, 02:41:49 PM
Allah save our gracious Mullah!
Long live our noble Mullah!
Allah save our Mullah.
Send him victorious
Happy and glorious
Long may he reign over us
Allah save the Mullah.

Can't be bothered to write the second verse, apart from mentioning the important line about him defending Sharia law.

Title: Re: Modernising the Classics
Post by: dextrous63 on October 05, 2023, 03:09:31 PM
I'll let someone else ponder how to update this little beauty:

There'll always be an England,
And England shall be free
If England means as much to you
As England means to me.
Title: Re: Modernising the Classics
Post by: JBR on October 05, 2023, 05:42:21 PM
Quote from: dextrous63 on October 05, 2023, 03:09:31 PMI'll let someone else ponder how to update this little beauty:

There'll always be an England,
And England shall be free
If England means as much to you
As England means to me.
There'll always be an Englandistan
And Englandistan shall be free for us
If Englandistan means as much to you
Come and bring all your mates to me.

Yes, I know it doesn't quite scan well.  Perhaps it would in urdu.
Title: Re: Modernising the Classics
Post by: dextrous63 on October 05, 2023, 05:52:02 PM
😬😬😬

I shall use a translation app to see if they start singing it from the top of those Mosques.
Title: Re: Modernising the Classics
Post by: dextrous63 on October 05, 2023, 11:12:03 PM
Pack up your roubles in your old kit bag
And sail, sail, sail
Don't let the girls being underage be a snag
Sail boys, that's the style
What's the use of worrying
It never was worth while
So, pack up your roubles in your old kit bag
And sail, sail, sail
Title: Re: Modernising the Classics
Post by: dextrous63 on October 06, 2023, 12:03:20 AM
Frère Jacques, 
Frère Jacques
Where's Calais? 
Where's Calais?
Gotta get a boat soon, 
Gotta get afloat soon,
So goodbye, 
So goodbye.
Title: Re: Modernising the Classics
Post by: dextrous63 on October 06, 2023, 08:40:44 AM
I
Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the bay of Pegwell
   Rowed the six hundred.
"Forward, before the Light fades!
We're in the homerun" he said.
Into the bay of Pegwell
   Rowed the six hundred.

II
"Forward, you darned renegades!"
Was there a man dismayed?
Not though the traffickers knew
   Someone had blundered.
   Theirs not to make reply,
   Theirs not to reason why,
   Theirs but to do and die.
   Into the bay of Pegwell
   Rowed the six hundred.

III
Ramsgate to right of them,
Dover to left of them,
Hovercraft port in front of them
   

etc etc etc
Title: Re: Modernising the Classics
Post by: JBR on October 06, 2023, 12:44:25 PM
Quote from: dextrous63 on October 06, 2023, 08:40:44 AMI
Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the bay of Pegwell
  Rowed the six hundred.
"Forward, before the Light fades!
We're in the homerun" he said.
Into the bay of Pegwell
  Rowed the six hundred.

II
"Forward, you darned renegades!"
Was there a man dismayed?
Not though the traffickers knew
  Someone had blundered.
  Theirs not to make reply,
  Theirs not to reason why,
  Theirs but to do and die.
  Into the bay of Pegwell
  Rowed the six hundred.

III
Ramsgate to right of them,
Dover to left of them,
Hovercraft port in front of them
 

etc etc etc
Some excellent revisions to those traditional melodies there, Dex.
I'm sure that there must be many more...
Title: Re: Modernising the Classics
Post by: Scrumpy on October 07, 2023, 10:55:22 AM

Great to read..
Title: Re: Modernising the Classics
Post by: dextrous63 on October 19, 2023, 12:08:55 AM
Sunni shining in the sky.
There ain't a Jew in sight
They've stopped praying
Everybody's in a grave
And don't you know...
It's a murderous new day
Hey hey hey.....