The boring thread.....

[klondike]

Ah the battle with the checkout operator - familiar as were the earlier observations. I was in Lidl today which lived up to your standards entirely starting in the car park with some dawk wandering across the main entrance roadway not looking with a phone up to their ears. It went downhill from there.

[Vlad]

Keep these coming!  🤣🤣

Good morning GM, you are up early. Just one more tale in the Asda Saga series to come...but there is
A Ripping Yarn in production in order to celebrate the anniversary of Operation Overlord next month.
Play your cards right and there might be a part in it for you 😜

Yesterday at 11:33:45 AM

Ah the battle with the checkout operator - familiar as were the earlier observations. I was in Lidl today which lived up to your standards entirely starting in the car park with some dawk wandering across the main entrance roadway not looking with a phone up to their ears. It went downhill from there.

Lidl, is that a posh Aldi? I believe there is one local but I am not allowed there, apparently they sell plants too, SWMBO says I have too many.

[Scrumpy]

I'm going to plant loads of Lavender to fill a spot that is bare .. 

[klondike]

Lidl, is that a posh Aldi?

Very similar.

From observation of both Lidl do tend to have slightly better car parks. That may be because the ones I've been to have all been new builds while the Aldis have been stores taken over from previous businesses. Cars have got bigger but old car park spaces haven't.

The aisles do seem to be a little wider. This really only offers a small challenge to determined stackers who can and do completely block them. Some customers try but as they only do this as a hobby rather than a profession they have to operate in pairs to get close to any success. Much easier to shove their trolleys out of the way than the heavy shelf stacking ones.

[GrannyMac]

I live in Supermarketland.  All within a few minutes drive.

Our local Aldi car park has electric chargers!  It shares space with Home Bargains and Iceland. Class!  The local Lidl has a basic car park.  Asda car park is under the store. Like Sainsbury's, nice on a hot day. We have a Tesco, with a bog standard car park. Morrison's is on two levels, it's in what was a genuine Army Barracks, Vlad, you would like the buildings I'm sure.   

This was written by a local historian.

https://bigronclayton.com/historical-site/hillsborough-barracks/

[Vlad]

I live in Supermarketland.  All within a few minutes drive.

Our local Aldi car park has electric chargers!  It shares space with Home Bargains and Iceland. Class!  The local Lidl has a basic car park.  Asda car park is under the store. Like Sainsbury's, nice on a hot day. We have a Tesco, with a bog standard car park. Morrison's is on two levels, it's in what was a genuine Army Barracks, Vlad, you would like the buildings I'm sure. 

This was written by a local historian.

https://bigronclayton.com/historical-site/hillsborough-barracks/

looks like my era...old very bloody old😅

[Alex]

I'm going to plant loads of Lavender to fill a spot that is bare ..

I love Lavender and have 5 or 6 pots on the patio.

[Vlad]

I love Lavender and have 5 or 6 pots on the patio.

And me, I have 24 plugs arriving this week. 

[Mups]

And me, I have 24 plugs arriving this week.

I like Lavender too.

I've got some purple ones,  and a couple of white ones too. 
Just taken some cuttings. 

[Alex]

I've never had any luck with cuttings even when I followed You Tube 

[Vlad]

And the last episode in my Asda Saga

Asda Toilets not for the faint hearted or those easily offended by Vlads ablutions
 
 I am the chosen one.
 
 
 I had to visit my local shopping centre to pick up a new phone, (that in itself is a whole bloody saga involving a call centre somewhere on the Indian sub continent) and felt an urgent need to ease springs as we say in the army, so off I pop into Asda and I am confronted with using the centre trap!

  I don't know about you but I don't like  using  a public toilet especially when I need to do a jobby, and what makes it even worse is when the only available trap is the centre one, the ones either side being already occupied
 
 As soon as I sat down, I knew it was going to register quite highly on the Beaufort scale. I could feel that there were about 250 cubic feet of wind , waiting cheekily for the first chicken nugget to fall out, so that they could quickly announce their arrival.
 
 What to do? It may surprise you, but I'm a bit coy about bum burping  loudly within earshot of strangers. Should I play the waiting game? The bloke on my left was making no noise at all and was therefore unpredictable. The bloke on the right was reading a paper, I couldn't wait as my brain was well aware of its surroundings and was already exhorting my botty, via the central nervous system, to release the hounds.

Then,,,,,,,,,, as if by magic on the door to my immediate front there appeared a burning finger which wrote, ' Vlad my son I find that the key to negotiating any tricky social situation is confidence; you can pull anything off so long as you act confidently and in the knowledge that YOU are the man.
 Thus: 'Do it loud and proud. Moan with pleasure, loudly implore Odin to help you evacuate, bang the sides, scream like a tortured duck. That's how I do it - not only does it add to the moment, but after a while people will see you doing the walk to the bog and will avoid the place for at least half an hour. You will forever dump alone. You are the Chosen One'
 
 So I did.
 
  I left the cubicle, washed my hands and walked out into a silent staring crowd of shoppers and staff...a stunned look on their faces, children with open mouths,  men gave me the nod the  acknowledgment of respect and the females realised they were moist, 

Then without warning from aisle 14 Brenda appeared, the duty shop floor supervisor...her hi vis jacket glistening in the down lights. Like a battleship on an attack run  she surged through the crowd, babies in strollers, small children, the elderly in mobility scooters all swept to one side in her bow wave....she stopped in front of me, silence descended, the tension increased, children started  to cry... and she asked the question which most people fear.....'Did you flush Vlad?'

The End