A small collection of funnies...

Started by Floydy, February 02, 2022, 02:49:23 PM

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Floydy




Hasn't Elton John got fat lately? Goodbye normal jeans....


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My car wouldn't start this morning so i lifted the bonnet to have a look. To my astonishment there was a bat sat on my engine! Amazingly it said " good morning sir, you're a handsome fellow aren't you, and nicely dressed too. "


I then realised the problem straight away,




Bat flattery....


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Paddy: "I'm taking next week off Mick, i'm going to Bucharest"


Mick: "Good for you Paddy, anywhere in particular in mind?"


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I still can't believe I've been cured of my kleptomania, i have to keep pinching myself...


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A personal trainer who lives near me has just been arrested for drug dealing. It just goes to show you never really know a person...


Five years i've been going to see him and i never even knew he was a personal trainer...


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I'd a terrible night last night, i dreampt something bit me on my neck, got up to check but the mirror wasn't working....


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I got tennis elbow just from watching Emma Raducanu play....


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Dyslexic lives mattress....


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Greggs are to try home deliveries by using drones.
I think this is pie in the sky....


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I was telling my son about when his mum and i were dating in the eighties how we used to drive onto the moors in my lada.


"Oh yeah" he smirked, "and what did you get up to, eh?"


"Almost 35mph one time" i replied...


:grin:




Floydy

 Gulp, i'm terrified Mike's gonna say he doesn't get the Emma Raducanu one, lol...  :embarrassed:

klondike


Floydy

Great stuff cos i nominate you as head honcho to explain it to him if he gets stuck, lol!  :yahoo:


Scrumpy

 :grin: :grin: :grin:  ... dreamt something bit my neck..
Don't ask me.. I know nuffink..

crabbyob

boy....did we miss you... [1140] [1140] [1140]
i wish my mirror wasnt working

Michael Rolls

Quote from: Floydy on February 02, 2022, 03:07:33 PM
Gulp, i'm terrified Mike's gonna say he doesn't get the Emma Raducanu one, lol...  :embarrassed:
Oh, but I did!
Mike
Thank you for the days, the days you gave me
[email protected]


crabbyob

we are a more educational forum it seems

Michael Rolls

Thank you for the days, the days you gave me
[email protected]

klondike

I think corrupting may have been the word you were seeking...