Pensioners forum LetsChat

Main boards => Jokes => Topic started by: Floydy on February 02, 2022, 02:49:23 PM

Title: A small collection of funnies...
Post by: Floydy on February 02, 2022, 02:49:23 PM



Hasn't Elton John got fat lately? Goodbye normal jeans....


_______


My car wouldn't start this morning so i lifted the bonnet to have a look. To my astonishment there was a bat sat on my engine! Amazingly it said " good morning sir, you're a handsome fellow aren't you, and nicely dressed too. "


I then realised the problem straight away,




Bat flattery....


________




Paddy: "I'm taking next week off Mick, i'm going to Bucharest"


Mick: "Good for you Paddy, anywhere in particular in mind?"


_________


I still can't believe I've been cured of my kleptomania, i have to keep pinching myself...


_________


A personal trainer who lives near me has just been arrested for drug dealing. It just goes to show you never really know a person...


Five years i've been going to see him and i never even knew he was a personal trainer...


___________


I'd a terrible night last night, i dreampt something bit me on my neck, got up to check but the mirror wasn't working....


________


I got tennis elbow just from watching Emma Raducanu play....


__________


Dyslexic lives mattress....


_________


Greggs are to try home deliveries by using drones.
I think this is pie in the sky....


_________


I was telling my son about when his mum and i were dating in the eighties how we used to drive onto the moors in my lada.


"Oh yeah" he smirked, "and what did you get up to, eh?"


"Almost 35mph one time" i replied...


:grin:



Title: Re: A small collection of funnies...
Post by: Floydy on February 02, 2022, 03:07:33 PM
 Gulp, i'm terrified Mike's gonna say he doesn't get the Emma Raducanu one, lol...  :embarrassed:
Title: Re: A small collection of funnies...
Post by: klondike on February 02, 2022, 03:50:38 PM
 :grin: :grin: :grin:

At least I liked 'em all
Title: Re: A small collection of funnies...
Post by: Floydy on February 02, 2022, 03:55:33 PM
Great stuff cos i nominate you as head honcho to explain it to him if he gets stuck, lol!  :yahoo:
Title: Re: A small collection of funnies...
Post by: klondike on February 02, 2022, 04:10:54 PM
Great
Title: Re: A small collection of funnies...
Post by: Scrumpy on February 02, 2022, 05:46:24 PM
 :grin: :grin: :grin:  ... dreamt something bit my neck..
Title: Re: A small collection of funnies...
Post by: crabbyob on February 02, 2022, 07:21:44 PM
boy....did we miss you... [1140] [1140] [1140]
i wish my mirror wasnt working
Title: Re: A small collection of funnies...
Post by: Michael Rolls on February 02, 2022, 07:23:35 PM
Quote from: Floydy on February 02, 2022, 03:07:33 PM
Gulp, i'm terrified Mike's gonna say he doesn't get the Emma Raducanu one, lol...  :embarrassed:
Oh, but I did!
Mike
Title: Re: A small collection of funnies...
Post by: Floydy on February 02, 2022, 07:37:36 PM
Phew!
Title: Re: A small collection of funnies...
Post by: crabbyob on February 02, 2022, 07:40:14 PM
we are a more educational forum it seems
Title: Re: A small collection of funnies...
Post by: Michael Rolls on February 02, 2022, 07:41:09 PM
Quote from: crabbyob on February 02, 2022, 07:40:14 PM
we are a more educational forum it seems
us does us bestest
Mike
Title: Re: A small collection of funnies...
Post by: klondike on February 02, 2022, 07:41:27 PM
I think corrupting may have been the word you were seeking...